I stomp around the corner of the house and run into Calum and his easel on the front porch.
“Hey!” His smile is wide and bright. My own sense of betrayal throttles me then as I realize that I am hurting this man just by being so pained by Jonathan’s decision. If I was happy with my life with Calum I wouldn’t be feeling so devastated by Brittany and Jonathan’s marriage. My stomach twists at the thought.
“Hi.” I ascend the two steps and place a hand on Calum’s shoulder.
“Are you okay?” His eyes hang on mine. “You look like you’re getting sick.”
“I’m fine.” I swipe at my forehead. “I just didn’t eat this morning and the walk just… took a lot out of me I guess.”
“Maybe some lunch and a nap then–the sunshine is so bright today I thought I’d do some painting outside.”
“Good idea,” I press up on my toes to kiss him softly before sending him an encouraging smile. “It looks great.” I glance at his painting in progress.
“Thank you,” he grins. “It’s calledFalling Sky. It reminds me of you–strong at the edges but soft at heart.”
I nod as tears well in my eyes. I push my hand over my face, trying to hide the emotion that’s simmering just below the surface.
“Want me to make you some lunch?” he asks.
“No–I’m fine. You’re sweet,” I call over my shoulder as I step into our home. Our home. Not me and Jonathan’s, me and Calum’s. An overwhelming urge to run away washes through me. I set my tote bag of fruit and vegetables on the counter and go directly to my bedroom. The walls feel like they’re closing in. Like my skin is crawling with the pain of living this life.
I throw myself onto the bed, bury my face in the pillow and let the tears flow. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, maybe I never did. For the first time I think maybe being alone is the only way out of this mess I’ve found myself in. But then I think of the pain I’ve already caused, the pain leaving would cause. I sink deeper into the clouds of cotton and down and let the pain wash through me one violent tear at a time.
“What’s wrong?” Calum’s voice interrupts my anguish. He sits on the side of the bed, a palm rubbing my back.
“Nothing—” I start but he shifts, locking his gaze with mine.
“Don’t do that. I can tell you’re lying.” The storm clouds in his eyes hover on mine.
“I—I—” my thoughts swirl as I grasp for something to say. “I ran into my cousin Brittany at the market.”
“Oh yeah?” he says.
“She—she eloped last month.”
“Isn’t she young?” he asks.
I nod. “It was unexpected—she—she married Jonathan.”
Calum’s gaze darkens. A long silence stretches between us before he finally opens his mouth to speak. “So that explains it.”
Before I can say a word he stalks out of our room and down the hallway to his studio. I follow him, heart hammering as I think how already I’ve said too much.
“Calum—” I reach for his arm but he yanks it away.
“Stop—it’s always this. Always about him. I’m sick of hearing about him. You’reobsessedwith him.” Hot tears spill down my cheeks as he hurls his words like weapons.
“No, that’s not true. We’ve just been friends for a long time?—”
“Bullshit,” he seethes. Before I can stop him, he tears the painting—Falling Sky—off the easel and hurls it againstthe wall. One corner of the frame splits and the edge of the coffee table leaves a wide gash in the center of the canvas.
“Calum—”
“I should leave—you’re toxic, you both are and staying is destroying me,” he spits, kicking the canvas and inflicting more damage to his precious painting.
“Calum—no. Please, I love you. I don’t want to live without you,” I plead for him to hear me, to understand.
“You don’t want to or you can’t?” His eyes blaze with anger, chest heaving with pain and adrenaline.
