In nearly twenty years, she’s never once slapped me with a fancy label from her diagnostic manual. Instead, she listened.She empathized. She became a friend. Maybe my most priceless one until Dean came…and went.
“Can you tell me what brought you to Chicago? Is it for work of pleasure?”
“Both, I guess.” I answer honestly as I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. I hate doing video sessions because, instead of focusing on the thoughts in my head, I end up focusing on the face reflected back at me. How higher cheekbones or a more sharply cut jawline would lend me the kind of beauty and attention Jesika enjoys by birth.
“Do you have plans to meet up with any friends?”
“No.” I answer honestly, and then I think to add, “I think I met a new friend though.”
“Oh?” she says as she scratches something on her notepad.
“It’s Jesika,” I confess, unused to hiding anything from the woman staring back at me.
“Oh…” Her tone lowers an octave. “How did that happen?”
“We bumped into each other at the coffee shop. It was totally innocent,” I rush to explain.
Kelly doesn’t say anything, and I know she doesn’t believe me.
Long beats of silence stretch between us before she clears her throat and asks, “Is she the reason you went to Chicago, Shae?”
I shrug, unwilling to admit that she’s right.
Sheis the only reason.
“I just wanted to make sure she was good to him and that…that they were happy, maybe?” I don’t even believe myself anymore.
Kelly only nods, scratches on her pad, and avoids my gaze.
I want to fill this unbearable silence with words, but I know that’s what she wants from me and like hell will I give her that.
“Shae…” She presses her lips together as she thinks about how to besthandle this.“Do you think this is the best use of your time?”
I shrug. “I just needed a distraction. All the memories that we have in LA were haunting me. He was haunting me by taking her to all of our favorite places. He took her to the Polo Lounge! That’s our place. I just couldn’t keep running into them everywhere.”
“You ran into them in LA?” Her eyebrows knit together.
“Well, figuratively,I mean. Worrying about running into them was enough to keep me in bed all day.”
She nods, chewing on her bottom lip softly as she writes more on her pad.
“Have you talked to Jesika in Chicago?” she finally inquires.
I nod. “Yes.”
“Does she know who you are?”
My response is delayed. “I mean, who is anyone, really?”
“Shae, does she know you’re Shae Halston—ex-wife of Dean Halston?”
“Well, I’m not his ex-wife yet, so I suppose the answer to that question is no,” I utter. “I have a conference call with some potential investors in ten minutes. I hate to cut this session short, but it can’t be helped. You understand, right?”
Kelly’s pen freezes mid-swoop, and she looks up to stare at me. “Investors?”
“Mhmm.” My eyes glimmer as I lay the lie on a little thicker. “Big ones in the fashion industry. They want to be silent partners in a new vegan and cruelty-free clothing line.”
“I see.” She nods. “That sounds very exciting. I look forward to hearing more about that.” I cringe when I realize I’ll now have to find a lie about why the deal fell through—I had a badvibe, I’ll tell her.
