I’ve been taking every chance I can get to stop by the main office and see how she’s doing. Just catching a glimpse of her smile brightens even the worst day lately. I had every intention of taking her to lunch yesterday, but the foreman stopped me on my way back up to the office and unloaded a laundry list of things that had to get done right away. That threw me off a bit, but Avalee seemed to understand—I think.
While spending some one-on-one time with Avalee is the main goal for me asking her out tonight, I also want to figure out why her big brown eyes don’t shine as bright as they used to. But how to approach that conversation?
So, Avalee, I’ve noticed you aren’t the bright and chipper, sassy pants spitfire I used to know! What happened?I roll my eyes at the absurdity of my own train of thought and brush my hand through my hair.I’m going to butcher this, aren’t I?
I pick her up right at seven p.m., and she’s opted for a pair of sneakers and jeans and a bright-red and blue Tennessee Titans shirt. She’s striking, and it makes me feel good that she’s so at ease with me. Like old friends.Wait. Does that mean she doesn’t think of this as a date?I consider my own clothes and worry I may have overdressed for the occasion. She’s quiet, no more than usual, but I get the feeling something happened between the time we talked earlier and I picked her up.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
She nods and tucks some of her honey-brown hair behind her ear. I can’t help but notice how white her knuckles are as she clutches a brown-and-cream leather purse. I drive us to the restaurant and pull into a space then turn toward her. She’s nervously fidgeting with her hands in her lap.
“Avalee, I know something is going on. You can talk to me, you know?”
She turns those brown eyes on me, and my blood starts to pump a little faster.
“Remember when we were kids, how I used to bring you to-go baggies of food to school?” she asks, her voice quiet and distant.
I think back to our childhood and vaguely remember one year of her bringing me rolls, apples, and sometimes crackers with peanut butter. I’d forgotten about it until now. She was so sweet, always thinking of me back then. My family was struggling to keep food on the table, and most days, I was lucky to have dinner. At school, I ate whatever my friends were willing to share from their own packed lunches or cafeteria trays. All of that changed once I started making my own money, of course—then I bought my own lunch.
“Yeah, you were always so good to me.”
“I was just thinking about that earlier, before you messaged me,” she whispers, chewing on her bottom lip.
I want more than anything to wrap her up in my arms and help her find that brightness she once exuded. I know it’s still there; I can feel it. But while part of me longs to hold her tight, another part yells for me to wait. We sit in silence for a moment, and I wonder what would have been if we had really had a chance to date back then. Would we have been childhood sweethearts? Married with children? My record squeaky-clean?
“My father didn’t approve,” she says and pauses, quickly glancing at me and then out the windshield at the busy restaurant I’ve picked for the evening. “I begged him to let me invite you to family dinner. Our Sunday family dinners were always so massive.”
It stings, knowing her father discouraged her from interacting with me back then, but I am also far from surprised. If I had kids, I wouldn’t let them around my own family either.
“Did you have brothers and I just forgot?” she asks all of a sudden.
“Hmm?”
“Asher Mayson mentioned that you have brothers, but I couldn’t remember that from when we were kids.” She picks up her phone and tucks it into her purse, then slides the straps over her shoulder—one hand on the door handle, the other still tightly gripping her bag.
“Snake and River didn’t come along until much later. They are technically my half brothers. They both grew up in foster care, and when they were old enough to leave, they made it their mission to find dear old dad and make him pay for abandoning them. I didn’t actually know about them until my senior year of high school when they showed up claiming my father was theirs and had the DNA tests to prove it.” I don’t tell her that my father loved my brothers infinitely more than he ever loved me the moment he found them. He used to say,I made a mistake leaving with your mother and having your sorry, good-for-nothing ass. If I had known, I wouldn’t have run off with your mother in the first place. I’d sure as hell be a happier man for it.
No, I don’t think Avalee needs to know all of my skeletons just yet. I will keep those tucked away in the closet for now.
“Oh wow,” she says.
“Yeah. My father wasn’t exactly keen on the whole one-woman mentality.”
Her eyes are softer now but still sad, maybe even sadder, if possible. Their dark chocolatey depths seem to surround me, trying to squeeze something out of me that isn’t left to extract.
“I’m so sorry, Ruin.”
I set my jaw in frustration, and a little harsher than I intend, I say, “Avalee, we already talked about you apologizing for things you shouldn’t.”
“Sorry,” she says, her voice so small. She crosses her arms and rubs at an elbow.
It’s going to take some work to help her come out of this shell and stop apologizing. I grip the steering wheel as I consider what could have made her this way and have to stop myself from ripping it clear off the dash. The idea that someone is behind her broken spirit makes my skin crawl and blood boil. I realize she is looking at my hands, and I relax my grip, fighting to clear my head of the dark thoughts. “Hey, this place doesn’t even have that high of a rating. Wanna bail and find something cheaper and tastier?” I ask, trying to redirect the conversation and hopefully fix the mood.
She smiles. “I think pizza and ice cream are in order.”
Grinning, I pull out of the parking space in front of the only high-end restaurant this side of town and take us to one of the oldest pizza joints in the city. The last thing I’m going to do is force our fragile butts to dine in an overpriced and probably disappointing restaurant for our first date.I hope this is a date.When did I become so unsure of myself? It has to be Avalee. She’s always been so close but out of reach—well, until she was literally out of reach and across states.
I steal a few glances her way as we head into town, and I see she is relaxing the farther we drive away from the extravagant venue.
