I shake my head. “No. But Liz insists on calling me by my first name. She gave me this long speech about how—”
“—important names are,” we say together, shocking me. Ruin chuckles when I gawk at him.
“Yeah, she gave me the same speech after asking me what the backstory was of my name. I don’t think she was satisfied with my answer,” he says.
“And what was your answer?”
He shrugs. “That my mom named me Ruin.”
I chuckle again. “I like it. I always have. It’s unique. Did they have other names picked out for you?”
He thinks about it for a moment. “My mom mentioned once that she almost named me Chad, but Dad was not into it.” His smile falters when he mentions his dad, and I think back to when we were kids. Every memory of his father is hostile and volatile. The man wasn’t a good father from what I can remember, and apparently that abuse carried over later in life from the sour look on Ruin’s face.
“I cannot picture you as a Chad!”
“What about you? Any other possible names besides Virtue?”
I nod and pinch my lips together as if to keep them sealed. We laugh and chat as we fill our plates and find a vacated picnic table, Liz and crew chatting away around us. There could be an auditorium stuffed with people around us and I wouldn’t notice or care. My eyes and ears are all set on Ruin. He skirts any topic involving the last few years of his life, and instead, we talk about everything, from where we have traveled since we last saw each other, to the last time we did hang out. It was about a year after he protected my honor from Ronnie at the school dance.
“You know, Ronnie James had his jaw screwed shut for months after that dance?” Ruin asks, his dark eyes meeting mine, and I have to catch my breath but I feel my head shake in reply. “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t have known since his folks pulled him out of school until his face was repaired. I am not exactly proud of shattering his jaw, but the dude also had it coming.”
“I don’t know if I ever told you thank you for that night,” I say, pushing around a glob of fruit salad on my plate with a plastic fork, avoiding his eyes that make my stomach turn flips and my heart jolt.
He slides his plate across the table, food mostly untouched, and rubs the blue-and-white–checkered tablecloth. His hands look worn but strong, and I think about what he might be able to do with—Stop that, Avalee!I shift in my seat, heat blossoming in my core at the thought of Ruin’s touch.
“You didn’t, but that’s okay. Besides, you left shortly after, and I never saw you again.” His voice drops to nearly a whisper with the last part.
Has he forgotten about the all the nights we kissed almost a year after that fight? I try not to think too hard about it and start rambling like I always do when I’m nervous. “You know, Ronnie wasn’t a bad guy. At least, I don’t remember him being such a tool before that night. He had been pawing at me for weeks.” I pause when Ruin tenses across the table and then continue. “But I wasn’t ready to take our relationship to the next level, and he was. I honestly can’t even remember how he got me a ticket to that dance since I was in the ninth grade and it was only for tenth-graders.”
“Alton High School wasn’t exactly known for having a staff that followed procedure,” Ruin adds.
“I can’t believe I never knew about Ronnie’s jaw. You never mentioned it when we hung out back then. Did you get into a lot of trouble for that?” I ask, my brows knitting together as I realize how I might have played a part in whatever led this handsome man across from me down the path that he took. The path that he won’t divulge to me yet.
Ruin looks around the picnic and clears his throat. “A little. But when the principal found out it was because Ronnie was trying to assault a fellow classmate, they only suspended me for a week instead of expelling me—which was what Ronnie’s parents wanted. My father, on the other hand—” His voice trails off, and he looks into the distance at something only he can see. “Well, he wasn’t as forgiving.”
I sigh.I definitely had some part in it, then.
“I’m so sorry, Ruin. It was my fault you got into trouble to begin with.”
Ruin’s face scrunches up, and he tilts his head to the side, his mouth opening but no words coming out for a moment. “You think you’re to blame for that night? That’s ridiculous. The dude was pressuring you and teasing you. I couldn’t just stand by and watch. It made me sick to think of him having his hands all over you like that. No, you have nothing to be sorry about.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and nod softly. After that, the air around us seems to change a bit. He is more relaxed, which is great, but my nerves are playing tricks with my mind. I can’t help feeling like I am to blame in some way—another one of those things Dr. Saldon wants to work on in our upcoming sessions. While I want to stay and ask Ruin more questions, hear his voice, and just be near him, I also want to run for the nearest exit and recharge my social batteries. He seems ready for flight, too, glancing around the picnic every so often and looking at his feet.
“Let me see your phone,” I say, stretching an open hand across the tabletop.
He shifts in his seat and reaches below the table, pulling out his phone and placing it in my hand. Our hands brush across each other, and butterflies seem to start up a waltz in my chest and throat. I plug my phone number and contact information into his contacts and hand it back to him.
“There. Now you can message me later so we can figure out a time for you to pick me up for our dinner with the Maysons on Friday. But now, I need to get back to the office. There are invoices that won’t…invoice themselves.” I smile and stand to leave, grabbing my plate to toss on the way out.
Ruin stands and moves around the table, taking my trash and stacking it onto his own. “I got this. You go take care of those invoices.” He nods and waves me away with a hand.
“Bye, Ruin.”
“Talk to you soon, Avalee.”
I swallow hard, watching him a moment longer before I turn and head back for the office. Old feelings and emotions stir to life in the pit of my stomach, and I need to go hide and collect myself in the restroom for a moment. Seeing Ruin so soon is both a gift and a terrifying surprise.
* * *
