He looks at me with disbelief and then lets out a deep breath and chuckles. “Thank you, Avalee.”
I can’t tell if he is talking about the shower or the fact that I am not hounding him about the little exchange at dinner.Don’t worry. That’s coming, mister.He does have some explaining to do, but right now, I just want a few minutes to think. And I imagine he will feel better after a nice hot shower. Then my mind wanders to him in my shower, naked. I close my eyes against the thought and tell myself to stop acting like a senseless schoolgirl. It’s hard to deny my carnal urges when he looks devilishly good, but I also know I’m not quite ready for that stage in our relationship.
I set the kettle to boil and pour some ground coffee in my French press to make us both a much-needed cup of joe. As I’m pouring the boiling water over the coffee grounds, I hear the shower kick on and my shower curtain rings scrape across the bar. A moment later, a soft humming comes from the bathroom, and I giggle at the cuteness of it. This man has a dark past and a horrible family, and yet, he is apparently a shower-hummer. My smile starts to slip as I think back to earlier and the way he shook his head when I questioned him as to what his brothers were talking about.
I just wish he knew he could trust me to be open with me, as I have been with him. I guess I have left some parts of my past out, but more so to avoid revisiting them than to keep them from him. But what if he doesn’t want me once he knows the extent of the abuse? Panic shoots through my core at the very notion of him not wanting me if he knows I’m damaged goods. The water cuts off in the bathroom, and I depress the plunger on the French press, then take out a matching set of mugs, pouring us both steaming cups of medium roast.
The nutty aroma of coffee mixes with the floral tones of honeysuckle from my body wash as Ruin exits the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. I sigh, the carnal urges stirring once more. His muscles flex as he runs another towel over his head, kicking his hair straight up in different directions. Water beads across his rippled chest, and some streams down his legs.
“I made us coffee,” I squeak, reminding myself not to drool.
“Awesome. Thank you,” he says, voice low.
“Ruin,” I start, then stop, noticing the tattoos on his inner biceps form words.Virtue Grace Justice.It looks like a name in a swirly, fancy font, set against a pair of masculine sugar skulls. “What does that mean?” I point to the names sprawled across his upper arm, and he glances down.
“Well, Grace is my little sister’s name.”
“You also have a sister?” What else will I discover about this man tonight?
He glances down. “Grace was my little sister, but she passed away shortly after birth. She was sick—something about a bad heart—and she just didn’t make it. My mother was broken after that, and I think that’s what caused her to run off the way she did.”
Oh.I clutch at my chest, heart aching.
“Justice is the code I live my life by. I believe in living to high moral standards. It’s kind of funny, considering my history. Or ironic,” he adds, shaking his head with that faraway look in his eyes.
“And Virtue…is for you. You were my rock when we were kids, and I didn’t know if I would ever see you again when you left. So, I put you up there as a reminder of what I try to live for, and to honor you and my sister in every action, every day.”
The floor seems to cave in under me. Tears well up and spill over my cheeks, cold against the heat of my skin. Ruin comes close, pulling me into his arms as I let the tears flow. I’ve always hated my first name, but this is the first time I actually don’t resent it.
“Shh,” he croons, stroking the back of my head and kissing my forehead. “This was my first tattoo, actually. I got it to remember all that I’d lost and to know what I was fighting for. It honestly saved me during some of my darkest days. Avalee, I have to tell you about my past. I don’t want you to hear it from anyone else. But I need to know that you’ll listen with an open mind,” he says, and I can hear the pleading in his voice.
I look up at him and nod, then wipe the tears from my eyes. “Of course, Ruin. You can tell me anything. But please, don’t hide anything from me. Like, what your brothers were talking about earlier about needing your expertise, or whatever it is you think your past is so awful for—I promise I will listen with an open mind. Just trust me.”
“Okay, but first, I’m going to need to get dressed,” he says.
I laugh, and we press our foreheads together. His smile is soft again, touching his eyes, but there is still an uneasiness enveloping him. “Yeah, you better before I get any fresh ideas,” I say.
He kisses me gently, pulling me in tighter. “Only when you’re ready. Then I’m all ears for these fresh ideas,” he whispers.
Gooseflesh runs down my neck and the backs of my arms. I don’t want to tease him. I can already feel him pressing against my hip and I know I’m not ready just yet for the next step in our relationship, but I think I might be getting close to ready. The air seems thick around us, and my head spins with lust and hesitancy.
“Thank you for being so patient,” I whisper back. He dips his head down for a kiss, and I savor the taste of his lips. He pulls away after a moment and disappears into the bathroom, returning half-dressed, as his shirt is hanging dry by the door.
He claps his hands together and takes a seat on the couch. “Okay, I guess here goes.”
“Hold that thought,” I interrupt him and rush over to the counter to grab our coffees then join him at the couch. “I thought we could both use a little pick-me-up.”
“Thanks.” He picks up the mug and sips. “Damn, that’s good. Okay.” He rubs his hands down his pants and looks around the apartment briefly as if lost in thought or considering where to begin. His hands start moving, but then he stops and grunts softly.
I take his hand in mine and rub the top of it with my thumb, just like he did to help soothe my nerves once. “How about you just start with the beginning, like what happened after I left for Mississippi, and work your way up to when we met at the company picnic?”
He nods and lets out a breath of relief. “Yeah, okay.”
I listen as he explains how he tried to contact me numerous times after I moved, but of course, my parents had turned off my phone and bought entirely new phones and plans. My father had found out about Ruin and me, and he decided to keep us apart at all costs. When he got the offer to run his own region in Mississippi with the company he had worked for the last twenty years, he didn’t hesitate to disrupt our lives. Ruin recaps what happened with his family and how his father was involved in a lot of shady criminal activity, which led Ruin down a destructive path and eventually behind bars. When he gets to the part about his sentencing, he starts fidgeting with his hands again and glancing at me every few minutes. He doesn’t say what his crime was, but I’m relieved he’s starting to open up to me. I’ve kept my face placid and unchanging, just listening to him spill it all, and once he sees he can share it without my judgment, he relaxes and stops his fidgeting.
“I spent four years locked up and was let out on probation for good behavior. Basically, I spent my twenty-first birthday scrubbing toilets and washing fellow inmates’ laundry. After I got out, I searched for work, but nobody wanted to hire me until I met the Maysons. They took me in and didn’t even bat an eye at my background. I have them to thank for helping me get my life back on track,” he says, staring off at something I can’t see but feel.
“They’re like my second family. You know, Jax and Cobi Mayson actually rescued me from that seedy motel. My father and Trevor teamed up, and Asher and even Nico’s son Talon worked to find me. Jax and Cobi are the ones who volunteered to go in and get me. They’re like family to me,” I repeat, taking his hand in mine and drawing circles on the top of it.
