Avalee’s father was hard-core religious and hated my family for good reason. I didn’t blame him for worrying about his daughter getting mixed up with a Lautner. I just wished he would give me a chance—to see that I was nothing like my father. “So, there’s an us now?” I asked, taking her hand in mine.
In reply, she moved closer, hooking her arm through mine, and rested her head on my arm. We continued walking home that way, taking the back roads, some of which were actually still gravel and not paved. It was only a couple of miles from the high school to Avalee’s home, but we had veered off into the woods, which only meant more time with her for me. I was happy but also sad because we had made our way back to the sidewalks that weaved in and out of the community next to the one Avalee lived in. Only a field separated the two communities, but I would have to leave her on this side of the field to ensure her father didn’t catch us.
I heard the rumble of a car’s engine and peered over my shoulder, recognizing the black SUV. It was Ronnie’s best friends, Daryl and Charlie. They’d been heckling me since the punch that sent their best friend to the emergency room and straight into the metal headpiece he’d been sporting.
I just ignored them, hoping they’d leave us alone. But, if they threatened Avalee, I wasn’t sure what I would do to them.
The car drew closer, and I tensed. Avalee looked at me. “What is it, Ruin?”
They pulled up right beside us and rolled down their windows.
“Lookie what we have here. A pair of lovebirds,” Daryl sneered.
Charlie stared at us from the driver’s seat, not smiling, just blank-faced.
“Leave us alone, dude,” I said.
Charlie swerved the car toward us, the tires nearly jumping the curb.
“Watch it!” I shouted. I looked to check on Avalee and found her scowling just as hard at the pair of idiots.
“Get in,” Daryl said. “Now.”
Avalee touched my shoulder and squared off with the jerk. “No.”
“Come on now. We just want to give Ruin and his pretty friend a ride home. Don’t need to be a little bitch about it.”
I balled up my fist and wanted to take care of them, but not in front of Avalee. I turned to her and picked up one of her hands, kissing the top gently. “Go on home, Avalee. I will take care of this.”
She started to protest, but I blocked her by opening the back passenger’s door and climbing in.
“Ah, just your ugly ass. Okay, that will be just fine,” Daryl said.
I looked through the window at Avalee’s concerned face and mouthed “Go.” As we pulled away from the curb, I watched her look over her shoulder more than once, but she did head toward the field, so I was grateful for that. She was so stubborn, I worried she might actually try to do something, and I would be useless if I had to worry about her well-being.
Daryl unbuckled and climbed through to the back. He put an arm over my shoulders and smiled.
“You know what’s coming, don’t you?”
Before I could react, he slammed his fist into my gut. The SUV’s brakes squealed to a stop, and I was still trying to catch my breath when Charlie came around and yanked open the door, pulling me to the hard cement. Hands and feet pummeled me from head to toe for what felt like an eternity.
The next day at school, I wore a hood to try to cover my black-and-blue face, but of course, Avalee found me and took down my hood.
“I could just kill those pricks,” she grumbled as she slowly assessed the damage.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle or haven’t handled before,” I said. I meant the abuse from my father, but I had been in my fair share of school fights too.
If my lip hadn’t been so busted up, I would have kissed her, she was so sweet. Instead, she gently cradled my face in her hand and brought her lips to my cheek. The bell chimed for class, and we went different ways down the halls.
Thirteen
Avalee
Dr. Saldon didn’t know what to make of my strange case of déjà vu with Cobi earlier. She booked me for another appointment later in the week and tasked me with another journal activity. I didn’t mind. Journaling seemed to be helping. So was Ruin.
I open my phone and message him, asking if he would like to meet for dinner tonight. A second later, we have plans to meet at my place. I rush home to tidy up my apartment and get ready for Ruin. It doesn’t require a lot since my apartment is pretty small. But still, I fluff up the pillows on the cherry-red couch, sweep the kitchen’s tile, and plug in a few lavender-scented essential oil diffusers. The walls are mostly bare, save for a few pictures of my family. As I clean, my mind wanders to memories of Ruin and me walking home from school, and my mind always circles back to the night we nearly went all the way. Maybe we can revisit that night so many years ago when just the memory of his arms around me, those lips on mine, sent tingles of excitement coursing through my body.
After what happened to me with my kidnapping, intimacy had been challenging to achieve. I had been so busy with college and wrapped up in my own little world that I didn’t have time for anyone—then X happened. But as my therapist reminds me, I have to find a way to stop living in fear over what happened to me. Yeah, it sucks that it happened. Yeah, I deserve justice and have every right to be angry. However, in order to move forward, I also have got to find a way to let go and—the hardest part—to forgive.
