Ruin holds up a hand. “You know what, never mind. We can talk about that another time. For now, let’s just enjoy getting reacquainted. When you’re ready to tell me whatever it is that’s troubling you, I’ll be here to listen.”
Oh, Ruin.Tears threaten to betray my strength, but I keep them at bay. We chat until our waiter all but tells us it’s time for them to start cleaning up for the evening. Time had slipped by on us, and I’ve forgotten to update my father like I do every night. When I check my phone, I find twenty-four missed messages and twelve missed phone calls.Great. He’s probably already called the police and every hospital in a fifty-mile radius.I send a quick text that I'm out with friends and will call him later.
“Your father?” Ruin asks, noting my phone and probably the worried look on my face.
“Yeah.” I tap my bottom lip with my phone and make one of the hardest decisions I have had to make in a while. “Ruin, can we go somewhere we can chat?”
His face drops, and my heart plummets with it. “It’s nothing bad, I promise.” I close my eyes, and when I open them again, he’s locked those storm-cloud eyes on mine. “I want to tell you about what happened to me. Why I am the way I am now. But not here.”
Our waiter taps his foot on the stained carpet only a couple of feet away from us, glaring holes into our heads.
“Yeah. Probably for the best we get out of here anyway,” he adds.
He takes us to the frozen yogurt shop around the corner, and we each fill a cup with the cold, sweet treat. Mine is topped with chocolate, nuts, and whipped cream. Meanwhile, Ruin opts for a healthier sorbet option, and I admire his dedication to staying fit and healthy.
We take our treats out to the patio and sit in silence for a couple of moments. I’m happy. Content, even. Ruin has been a perfect gentleman, and he makes me laugh in a way that seems to stitch back together the parts of me ripped open and still raw.
“Avalee, you really don’t have to explain anything. I have my own demons that I would rather not share, and I was out of line for asking you to do just that.”
“No,” I say. I pinch my fingers on the napkin, wiping them clean, and I steady my shaking hands. “I need to do this. You’ve been so kind. I keep jumping and pulling away from you, and that isn’t fair. I know it is probably sending you all kinds of crazy mixed signals.”
He shrugs but doesn’t stop me.
Okay, here goes.I blow out a breath through pursed lips and relax my shoulders. My mind drifts to that evening, but I tether my thoughts and cement myself to this moment. Venturing down memory lane could lead to a total shutdown, which is not what I want.
“I have actually been back to Tennessee once since the high school dance fiasco,” I start. He looks up at me, brows slightly raised, but doesn’t interrupt. “I came back to go to school here my freshman year of college. I hoped—” I pause. I originally returned to Tennessee for two reasons. One, I missed the mountains and the city. And two, I had hoped to bump into Ruin. “—to see some old friends and get back to life pre-Mississippi. Anyway, I was studying at Tennessee University and met someone. I thought he was nice. At first.” Ruin’s eyes darken at the mention of another man, and I quickly set the story straight. “We didn’t date, but we were inseparable friends. At least, I thought we were.”
Ruin sits back and crosses his arms, his face hardening into a look I can’t read. I crumple my napkin and toss it into my empty bowl with the neon green spoon. A couple exits the yogurt shop, arm in arm and laughing. They stop beside us to embrace and kiss passionately. I wait for them to leave before continuing my story, which gives me more than enough time to consider just how much I feel comfortable divulging this soon.
“Anyway, he turned out to be involved with some really bad people. People who ran a sex trafficking ring.” I glance up at the sound of Ruin sucking in a breath, and the look in his eyes has taken on a dark rage that’s frightening. His jaw clenches, and a vein pops out by his temple. I haven’t told him the worst part yet, and I wonder what he will do when I do. “When they found out my father was rich and that they could possibly cash out more on me with ransom than selling me to the ring, they kidnapped me and held me captive in a roadside motel room. I don’t know where, and I don’t know if it was really three weeks or not because, to me, it felt like three months. But that is what my family and the reports say anyway.”
Ruin’s voice comes out soft and pained. “Did they hurt you?”
I try not to think about it, but those moments always find a way of sneaking into my thoughts no matter how hard I try to erase them. I look down between the metal rings of the picnic table to my feet and nod slightly.
“Yes.” My voice comes out as barely a whisper.
Ruin’s balled fist slams the tabletop, and I jump. He looks at me with that intense gaze, and I tremble. As if seeing me for the first time, he relaxes his features and runs a hand through his hair. “Sorry,” he says.
I’m not sure I should give him any further details, considering his reaction to just knowing I had been hurt. If he knew how much they had hurt me—the ways they had… No, I will spare him the details and not ruin our first date.If I haven’t already.My elbow stings, and I realize I’m pinching it again.
“Is that why you do that?” he asks, pointing at my hand, and I quickly rub my elbow.
“It’s a coping mechanism, I guess. My therapist is trying to help me find new ways to cement myself into the here and now, instead of falling into my traumatic memories.”
A mom and her three children, two of whom are pretending to be airplanes and one who is screaming in her arms, make their way by us and into the yogurt shop.
It seems late to be giving them sugar, but I guess I shouldn’t be judging her choices. Ruin is staring hard at me, so hard I don’t think he even notices the howling child clinging to his mother. Once they are inside and out of earshot, I take a breath, preparing to share a bit more, but Ruin stops me.
“You should never have to relive that. Only tell me if you really want to and are ready,” he says.
I swallow the words that try to spill forth, and a sob comes out instead. I don’t even have time to be mortified, because he’s suddenly wrapped around me. Those strong arms encircle me and squeeze me close. The sobs take me over in full, racking waves, but he clings to me, guiding me through it. I release the pain, for a moment relishing the warmth of his proximity and the protection of his body. This strong, scarred man, whom others only see as a threat, and he’s holding me at once like I’m a fragile shard of glass but also so securely as if to never let me go. My sobs begin to dissipate, and my breathing steadies once more.
Slowly, he releases me and picks up the remnants of our dessert, tossing them in the nearby trash. When he walks back to my side, he places a hand on mine, and those stormy eyes turn to liquid steel.
“Come on,” he says, his voice soft and kind. “Let’s get you back home, huh?”
I take his hand, and we walk back to his car. The drive to my apartment is quiet, and I have only myself and my thoughts to keep me company. I just know I have blown whatever chance there might have been with Ruin Lautner. There’s no way he wants these damaged goods now. I sigh and rest my head on my arm as I watch the city lights blip by and consider what or even how I will manage remainingjustfriends with the only person I have felt comfortable enough to let my guard down and cry with.
