I thought back on the first time I met Tav at Steph’s art gallery. His hair was ruffled, business suit jacket open and tie loose as he rushed into the opening my college roommate and best friend was hosting. Tav’s family was a major supporter of the gallery and he was expected to say a few words. He wasn’t my type, not at all. I’d never dated a man that wore leather wing-tipped oxfords or attended art openings on Tuesday evenings. Steph introduced us and we spent the rest of the evening talking about art and music and work and the future of creative markets in a digital economy when the next thing I knew he was placing a kiss on my knuckles and asking to take me on arealdate.
I’d typed my phone number into his phone as my cheeks flamed under his intense gaze.
I felt that gaze, even now,everywhere.
Tav was the most commanding man I’d ever been around. He demanded attention, charmed men, women, and children, and when he shined his light on you, he made you feel like the only person in his world.
Making people feel good was his superpower and it drew me to him like a stubborn moth to its fatal flame.
Five
“Hey, look at this." I examined the topography map on the wall as the evening sun streaked the windows. Tav didn't look up from his screen. He grunted once. I frowned. Tracing my fingertip along the lines of the map, I followed it until it looked like it led to an elevated area where a waterfall might feed down into a stream behind the property. "I think that waterfall is only a half-a-mile hike behind the chalet."
Tav didn't answer.
I shoved my feet in my boots, filled a water bottle to the brim, and was at the front door before Tav finally looked up with a half-interested look. "Watch out for the wild animals."
"Thanks."
I was down the driveway and headed to the property line a moment later. I walked the woods before a natural opening broke and I turned left down what looked like a groomed snowmobile trail. The snow was deep, over my knees and drifting into tall hills perfect for small children to slide down. The further I walked, the more the woods shrouded me, muffling my snowy footsteps as the cloud around my shoulders lifted. It felt good to work my muscles back and forth, I did too much sitting in front of a computer back home. The further I walked down the path the quieter the woods became, only winter birds tweeting from above my head. I reached the end of the pathway where a small cliff became a natural barrier for the path. A frozen gush of water hung suspended off of the edge, glistening with sugary, glitter snowflakes. I took a deep breath, thrust my arms in the air, falling back into a snowdrift and giggling when the cloud of powder surrounded me.
My mind fell back to another time like this when mom had taken me on a road trip to Colorado for Christmas. She rented the cheapest roadside motel she could find and every morning we danced in the new snow. It was one of my favorite Christmases, untraditional as it was.
I missed mom constantly. The days were still so dark without her.
I stood from my makeshift snow angel and brushed the tips of the evergreens with my palms. The scent of the needles filled the air and made me wish Tav was with me, experiencing this for himself. So much nature and solitude forced me to be alone with my thoughts, usually a detrimental thing. Tav was often the first to tell me I was thinking too much, that maybe I should up the dosage of my medication if I still felt so horrible so many of the days.
Mourning was complicated. I’d spent a few appointments at the therapist learning that all I could do was give it time. I’d suffered a traumatic loss, pushing me to grieve wasn’t exactly a healing mechanism. But Tav had been my shoulder to cry on and my hand to hold every step of the way.
I turned, eager to distract myself by following my footsteps back up the path and weaving my way through the evergreens as I’d come. Just as I was about to break out of the tree line, my eyes focused on one of the windows. At the loft level of the chalet, a shadow that looked like Tav hung in the recesses of the window, hand to his ear like he was talking on the phone. I watched carefully, wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. I rarely used my cell phone, and I didn't think we had service way up here on the mountain. I made a mental note to check my phone for a connection later.
Maybe he'd found a way to tap into the satellite system and was using it for a business call. He had said he’d brought the satellite phone but at multiple dollars per minute, it was best used for emergencies only. I was about to walk out into the clearing when the figure moved closer to the window and turned into the sunlight.
It was definitely Tav. And he was definitely on the phone.
I sucked in a quick breath of shock. Would he consider it odd if I asked him who he was talking to? He would certainly never hesitate to ask me who was texting my phone. I moved along the edge of the tree line, my eyes following the shadow in the window. I slanted towards the edge of the driveway, eyes on the chalet and not in front of me. Before I could catch myself, I stumbled on something hard buried beneath the drifts of snow. I groaned when my ankle throbbed inside my boot. I stood, hands on a nearby tree, testing my ankle with a few steps. It smarted, but not so much that I couldn't walk on it. I twisted it in slow circles, careful not to hurt myself more than I already had.
I followed the narrow driveway, conscious of every step I took as I made my way back to the chalet. By the time I reached the steps, Tav was there holding the door open with a smile on his face. "Are you okay?"
"Yes." I thought about asking him about the phone call. He seemed so concerned over me, I decided against it.
"I saw you fall out there." He held my elbow, guiding me into the house. He was being so tender, a thrill ran down my spine with his attentive touch. "I slipped on a rock I think. Did you figure out the internet?"
He shook his head, eyes casting to his laptop perched on the kitchen table. "Nope."
"Really? How smart can a smart house really be without wi-fi?"
His eyes narrowed on mine. He dropped his hand at my elbow and moved back to his laptop. His phone sat next to it on the table. I couldn't help but wonder if he’d been talking on it and was now lying.
"Did you get your report finished?"
He only shook his head. "Nearly. Not that it will matter if I can't get it uploaded before Monday. Another storm is coming. I was messing with the satellite system and found the weather station. They're calling for an Arctic clipper starting tomorrow with below-freezing temperatures every night for the next ten days."
My heart hammered quickly as I instantly began to count the number of survival supplies we might have at the chalet if the worst should happen. "Do you think there's a backup heat source in case the electricity goes out?"
"This place is off the grid."
"What?"
