“This totally sucks,”says Lauren as she lumbers into the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas.
“It does,” I say, walking as slowly as she does. “How did I let you talk me into coming here when I’m still puking my guts out?”
“Because I told Val I wanted your bachelorette party here. She had it booked and paid for as soon as you set a wedding date. How’d we know we’d both get knocked up?”
I groan, thinking about being knocked up. I feel a wave of nausea. I take a few deep breaths, attempting to keep it at bay. I look over at Lauren and see she’s not doing as well as I am. She’s a weird shade of green. I quickly look around for a restroom. Hell, she’d probably take a closet as long as there was something she could toss her cookies into. I spot the ladies’ room and point. Lauren takes off in a sprint. “God, I hope she makes it,” I whisper.
“Where’s she running off to?” asks Valerie.
“Bathroom.”
“Again? She went several times on the flight.” Valerie says, looking contemplative. “At the airport too. Now here?” I watch as the light bulb hits. “Oh, my God. She’s pregnant?” Valeriesqueals with joy as she jumps up and down. In the last four months, Valerie and Perri have become a wonderful part of my life. Lauren’s, too. We’re the fabulous foursome, as Val likes to call us.
Just watching Valerie jump is making me nauseous. “Stop, please,” I say, placing my hand over my mouth. I was hoping we could wait to share the news until I was past the first trimester. I don’t think that’s going to work now. I hit the bathroom just in time to lose my single saltine and sip of lemon-lime soda.
I hear her before I see her. “You’re pregnant, too?” Valerie screams right behind my head.
I moan in pain.
“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. You should have told me. We could have skipped this trip and stayed home to shop for the nursery.” I hear her feet clack on the floor as she jumps up and down. A second pair of clacks enters the bathroom. “Perri. They’re both pregnant. Isn’t that exciting?”
“Sweet,” she shouts. “I’m gonna be the best damn auntie in the entire world, ladies. Just you wait and see.”
I stand up and turn to look at my soon-to-be in-laws. They’re hugging and jumping. I smile at them. “So, you’re okay with this?” I say, patting my belly. “You’re ready to be Grandma Val?”
“Nana Valerie, please,” she says, beaming. “It sounds much more dignified.”
I laugh as I make my way to the sink. Lauren exits a bathroom stall at the same time. She looks like shit. “You look like shit,” I say to my bestie.
“Screw you,” she mutters. “You look like shit, too.”
“Now, ladies. Let’s not get bitchy,” says Perri, laughing. “We’re going to have fun even though you can’t drink. We can still gamble and pick up men. Oops, I guess I’m the only one that can do that. You two can help me pick up men? You can be my wingwomen.”
“What about me?” asks Valerie, looking a little offended. “I can pick up men, too.”
Perri’s mouth gapes open. “Seriously? You’re ready for that,finally?”
“Maybe. We’ll see. I’m open to a fling.” She turns and winks at me. “A woman has needs, you know.”
“Nope. No, don’t go there, Mom. I don’t want to know about my mother and herneeds. Nope. Nope,” she says, shaking her head.
I feel well enough to laugh at their exchange. They are so fun to watch.
“You can take turns hooking up. Just put a sock on the door if you’re in there bangin’ someone,” Lauren deadpans.
“Gross,” groans Perri. “I may never have sex again. Thanks a lot, Lauren.”
All four of us burst out laughing as we walk up to the check-in desk.
“Where are the guys staying?” Perri asks us.
Gill and Sam are in Vegas too. They brought a few of their buddies with them, but some had to stay back and keep the business running. “The Bellagio,” I reply.
“I’ll bet you a hundred bucks they don’t make it until dinner before they’re over here sniffing around for you two. They’re both whipped.”
I smile at Lauren, who smiles right back. “I give Gill until lunchtime. He won’t be able to stay away.”
“You’re both wrong,” says Valerie, pointing toward the entrance to the hotel.
