By the time the lights turn back on, I’ve gotten myself under control. The girl next to me hands me a Kleenex. I guess I wasn’t as quiet as I thought. She’s got a look of sympathy on her face. I take the tissue and dab my eyes. I’ll wait to blow my nose until I’m outside. No need to gross everyone out. I gather up my things and head out the door. I’m just about to blow my sniffling nose when I see a big guy leaning against the wall outside of my classroom. Alex.
“Oh, hey,” I say, trying to act cool.
“What’s wrong? Have you been crying again?”
Again?Oh crap, he must think I’m a crying, whining harpy. “Oh, well, the professor just told us some sad news.”
“What sad news?”
“Oh, just how over 50 percent of all small businesses fail within the first year. Devastating news,” I say, attempting a smile.
He laughs. He thinks I’m so fucking entertaining. And when did my language take a turn for the worse? Who the fuck cares? “So, what brings you this way?”
“Well, I knew you had class, so I thought I’d stop by and say hello.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Hello,” I say, smiling a little bit. Not a lot, mind you.
“What are you doing for lunch?”
“I was just heading to meet with Lily. I haven’t seen her for days, and it’s our chance to catch up.”
She actually canceled on me earlier. But I’m not going to give Alex the opportunity to end things, for good, in public. I know that’s what he’s going to do. Let me down gently and doing that in a public place is ideal. “Oh, okay. Maybe I’ll see you tonight?”
Is he asking to see me or is he just saying that I’ll see him if I’m lucky?
“Sounds good. I’ve got to run; Lily’s waiting,” I say in a fake singsong voice. I rush away before he even has a chance to say anything else and before my traitorous tears start up again.
Chapter Nineteen
STELLA
Ididn’t hear from Alex last night. Not even a text. Why does it hurt worse today than it did yesterday? Maybe it’s because it’s starting to sink in. The realization that he screwed me and dumped me. Maybe I was part of a joke. One of those “fuck the fat girl” jokes. I don’t really think that was it, but how am I supposed to know for sure? I still haven’t talked to Lily either. I have class with her today. I’ll try to talk to her then, but today is the big day. She’ll be a little distracted because Hank’s going to pose naked for the class for the first time. I’m confident that Lily’s already seen him in all of his glory, butIhaven’t. I’m not looking forward to knowing that much about Hank. I mean, he’s great looking, but I’ve eaten dinner with the guy. Now I’ll know about his you-know-what. One good thing about the breakup with Alex is that he’s not going to care if I see anyone else naked. He probably didn’t care before, but I know now for sure that he won’t care.
It turns out that Hank is indeed built like a tank––with a big gun. I giggle at myself for that last part. If it’s crude, I apologize. What if I just say that Hank is very well-endowed? It was actually a pretty hilarious class. Usually, Hank can’t take his eyes off Lily. But today he did everything he couldnotto look at her. When he did look her way, she would wink and lick her lips. Her little teases were making him a little too excited for a nude painting class, if you know what I mean. Hank did a nice job keeping his junk in order. He had sweat on his brow the entire time, and I could see how hard, no pun in intended, he was concentrating on his, err, pose. I’ll remember this day for a long time––and laugh. It feels good to laugh.
The rest of the week continues on in much the same fashion. I’d like to tell you that I was feeling better, but I can’t. I’d also like to tell you that Alex came around and picked me up for dinner every evening and texted me every night before bed, but he didn’t. He didn’t completely ignore me though. I did have a few texts here and there. He sent one on Wednesday asking how my week was going. I just replied that “It’s good.” I asked him how his week was going. He said it was fine and that they were working like crazy at practice to prep for the big game.
On Thursday he sent a text offering up his football jersey one more time. I told him I was fine with my N.U. gear. I didn’t get a reply to that one. On Friday he texted to remind me that he left tickets for me at the Will Call window. I said “Okay” to that. He wanted to know if I was bringing anyone. I said that I was going to ask Lily to come. Again, no reply. I'm not sure if it hurts more to be completely ignored or to get these tiny little reminders that this guy is still out there. I think it’s the second one. I think cold turkey is the way to go with a guy like Alex Emerson. It’s all or nothing. I want all of him, or I want none of him.
It’s homecoming,and I’m not excited about it at all. I know I should be. I should be rooting for the home team. Ishould be looking forward to seeing Alex’s parents again. I’m not though. Lily can’t go to the game with me after all. She’s going to be sitting with Hank’s parents today. I’m happy for her. I really am. Hank is a good guy.
The game today is at noon. I woke up early again to get ready. I should try to find someone else to take with me to the game. It’s a great seat. Alex will probably be angry to see that I’ve wasted it. Oh well, there’s nothing I can do about it now. I have about an hour to kill before I leave, and as I’m finishing up with my mascara, I hear frantic knocking at the front door. It’s a knock that immediately makes me take notice. I rush to the door and wrench it open to Bradley panting and sweating.
“Bradley? What’s wrong?”
“Stella, oh, thank God you’re home. It’s your mom.”
“My mom?”
“Yeah, your dad rushed your mom to the hospital. My mom called me and asked me to get you and take you home right this minute.”
“B-But what happened?” I’m looking around the room, frantic. What am I even looking for? My purse? My keys?
“Stella, focus! I need to take you home. Right now!”
Just then Brooke sticks her head out of her door. “What the hell, you guys? It’s ten in the fucking morning. On a Saturday!” she yells.
“Shut up! We’ve got an emergency situation here,” snaps Bradley.
