Who cares? “Guess so.” I should apologize but… nah.
“You’re a dick.”
“Yep.” I’ve got no problem with that label at all.
“I can’t believe I’ve got to partner up with you.”
“Not for long,” I mutter under my breath.
“What?”
Turning into the lot at the station, I find a spot close to the door. I don’t bother looking at him. “Nothing.” Turning off the key, I take it with me. “I’ll grab Simmons.”
“Fine.”
Yeah, I can say with certainty. I’m done.
ChapterTwenty-Four
Matilda
I’ve gottwo letters in one today. They came in this afternoon’s mail, but I didn’t have time to read them before work, so I saved them until I got home. Until now.
I shouldn’t be excited since I’ve decided that I’m absolutely going to pull back from our friendship. Part of me knows that Adrian was just being a jerk, but the other part, the practical, level-headed side knows he was right. I’m making a fool of myself. Nothing is going to happen between me and Alec Marchesani no matter how hard I wish for it. And you and I both know I’m fooling myself by going along with the friendship label. It’s easy for a guy like him to be a “friend.” But the minute he comes back and starts dating a supermodel, my heart will crack and crumble into a million tiny pieces. Maybe two million.
Probably two million.
Still. It’d be rude not to read his words. And I’m many things, but rude isn’t one of them.
October 25th
Dear Matilda,
I know why you aren’t corresponding with me. My brother is a dick and a half. He knows nothing about, well, us. I think I’ve set him straight, but still, he’s like a toddler sometimes. No social skills whatsoever.
I haven’t wanted to pester you with calls and texts. I figure you’ll contact me when you’re ready. I wish you’d call.
A lot going on here. I’m enclosing my letter from before Adrian opened his big mouth, one I hadn’t gotten in the mail yet. I know we talked about some of the things in this letter while on the phone, so there may be some repetition. I’m sending it anyway. Think about what I said. Call me. I enjoy talking to you and especially look forward to your letters. Keep ’em coming, honey.
Yours, A.M.
* * *
October 10th
Dear Matilda,
Ben’s paralysis hasn’t improved, so they’re sending him up to Walter Reed in Maryland. I’m not sure if they’ll be able to do anything other than show him how to live his life now. Everything is gonna be different for him and his family. His wife, Becky, is the strongest person I’ve ever met. Forget gender, I’d put her up against any general from any era. I’ve never seen such determination in a person. The part that worries me is she hasn’t cried. I don’t know why that concerns me, but it does. Hell, I’ve bawled my eyes out multiple times. Mostly it’s when I’m by myself, but I did it once in front of her. All she did was pat my back and tell me, “It’s gonna be okay. He’s alive. That’s all that matters.”
She’s right, of course. Ben seems to be taking the news in stride too. He’s not awake a lot, but when he is, he’s still got his sense of humor even though I know part of it is just bullshit. It has to be, right? If I learned I’d never walk again… I’m not sure what I’d do. Maybe having Becky in the room helps him see things clearly or, hell, maybe he’s just trying to be strong for her and maybe some for me too.
Shit, I hope he’s not trying to put up a front for me. I get it about Becky. He wants to protect her even though he can’t do it physically.
What the fuck am I saying? I don’t know jack shit about any of it. I’m tired and frustrated, and I wish I could do more than just sit around and watch old movies with Ben.
Which reminds me, he really liked Rear Window. So did I. Since then, we’ve watched a couple others by Hitchcock. Dial “M” for Murder was good, but I think my favorite of his, so far, is Strangers on a Train. If you have any other recommendations, send them my way.
I’m still mulling over my future. Now, with Ben’s situation, if I stayed, it’d just be me and a new partner. What do you think, Matilda? You seem to have a good head on your shoulders—you know, you’ve got common sense. I saw that firsthand at the wedding when everyone else was losing their goddamn minds, and you just went with the flow. How’d you do that?
