“She’s sleepin’. We’ve got another issue.” I take a seat on her sofa, which must be an invitation for the cat to join me. He jumps onto my lap, and I run my hand over his head and down his back. I get a purr out of him, then his claws dig into my stomach over and over like he’s making dough. When he finally stops that, he gets comfortable on my lap as I keep one hand on him petting and the other holding the phone.
“What?”
“Her fucking ex keeps texting her. He’s sent…” It dings again. “Eleven messages in the last two hours.”
“God.” she growls. “I hate that guy. He’s such a prick.” She sighs. “What’s he saying?”
“I haven’t read them.”
“You should. He’s a master manipulator.”
“She’ll get pissed.”
“She won’t stay pissed.”
“Can you guarantee that?”
“Tell her I made you do it.”
Jesus. What the fuck happened to me? When did I become this guy––afraid of a woman’s wrath?
Answer? The day I met Prudence.
“I’m not a fucking pussy. I can take the heat.”
“Good to know, big guy. Now read them aloud. I need to hear what he’s up to.”
“I’m putting you on speaker. It’ll be easier to read them that way.” Without thinking, I press the icon and begin reading. “Jesus.”
“What? Tell me?” she whines. “Is it bad?”
Her voice is loud, so I turn the volume down so we don’t disturb Prudence. In answer to her question, it seems bad to me. “I’ll read them starting with the first one. Ready?”
“Ready.”
“The first one is ‘Prudie. We need to talk.’ Then, ‘Prudie. Answer me.’”
“I hate that guy,” Laura grumbles.
“Now he seems to be getting irritated. ‘Fine. I’ll just spell it out. I cannot pay for your car anymore. Why do you need a car that fancy, anyway? Can’t you just walk. You could use the exercise.’”
She hisses on the other end of the line. “Oh. My. God. That motherfucker.”
“Apparently. ‘I’m sorry, Prudie. I didn’t mean that. I just can’t with the baby coming. I think I’m going to get fired.’”
“He used that all the time,” she explains. “He claimed he was going to get fired whenever she wanted to look for a new job or go on vacation or take a class. Anything that would improve her life or make her happy, he’d pull that line on her.”
“I hope he visits soon so I can kick his ass.”
That gets a laugh out of her. At least someone’s having a good time.
“Ready for more?”
“Yes. No.”
“Here goes. ‘Prudie. Why aren’t you answering me? Are you with him? I can’t believe you’d see a ruffian like that-that person. You’re better than that. Mother thinks he’s perfect for you. That she always thought you were second class compared to us. I feel protective of you, Prudie. Am I going to have to come back to that godforsaken backwater town and intervene on your behalf? Because I will. I care about you, Pru-Pru.’” I scoff. “Pru-Pru?”
“She’s always hated those pet names, but she’d never ask him to stop. And God. His mother is the worst human being in the world.”
