I flip the lock, unchain the door, and twist the knob. Pulling it open an inch or two, I peek out. “I mean it. I’m not in any shape to have visitors.”
“I mean it too. I don’t care.”
You will. Pulling open the door, Hudson glances at me, then at my apartment. “Have a party recently?”
“Um––”
Turning, he holds out the white sack. “I was thinking we could order our pizza too. I’m starving.”
Opening the bag, I reach in and feel around for the hot dog. I haven’t had a meat product for weeks. When I retrieve it, I drop the bag onto my coffee table, unwrap the foil from the hot dog, and bite.
I’m trying not to look at him as I snarf down the food, but he’s so handsome in the same T-shirt he was wearing the day we met sans the baseball cap. But that’s okay. I like him dressed down like this.
“Why didn’t you call?” He reaches into the back pocket of his shorts and produces a small pack of cat treats. Just the sound is enough to get Barney down off his perch at his window seat. I don’t know how the cat can stand lying in the sun right now. I mean, he’s covered in fur.
“I thoughtyouwere going to callme.”
“You said you needed time.”
“I did.”
“Did you need this much time?”
I shake my head slowly. “I thought you’d call.”
“Did you want me to call?”
I nod this time.
“I wanted you to call me too, Willa. I’ve missed you. You’ve been on my mind every single day. Forty-seven long fucking days, honey.”
“You counted?”
“Did you?”
I nod slowly.
Hudson is in front of me so fast with arms extended that I almost choke on the bite of hot dog I just took. I take a step back though, holding a hand up in front of myself because I’m positive I stink. “I’m going to take a shower. Will you order the pizza?” I’d offer to pay, but I can’t.
“Sure.” He seems a bit off. “Of course.”
Walking around him, I move to my dresser, hoping I’ve got something clean to wear. I haven’t done a good job at keeping up with my laundry either. Luckily, I find an oversized tank, clean underwear, and a pair of athletic shorts that I bought at a thrift store a while back. Glancing at him, I smile. “Be right back.”
The shower feels amazing. I don’t know why I let myself go. Well, depression does that to a person. Why bother making an effort? The incentive of having someone over is helpful. I should have let Bonnie visit like she wanted to. As soon as I mentioned that my mom got married, she offered to bring over wine and sushi. But I wasn’t ready, and honestly, I’m not sure I’m ready now, but Hudson barging his way in may be good. It could be the push I need to start to get my shit together.
I scrub myself, wash my hair twice, condition it once, and shave everything. When I’m finished, I dry myself off and slip on clean clothes. It’s amazing what water does for you. It’s too bad that’s going to be shut off soon too.
As I put toothpaste onto my toothbrush, I talk to myself, “I really need to come up with a plan. Maybe I could call a temp agency.” Why didn’t I think of that before? Brushing my teeth, then working the tangles out of my hair, I stare into the mirror and gasp. I look exhausted. The dark circles under my eyes are so noticeable that I’m not sure concealer would do anything to help. “All I’ve done is sleep.” So how can I look so tired?
I’m considering putting on makeup when I hear Hudson ask. “You about done? Pizza’s here.”
“Already?”
“You’ve been in there for a while.”
Have I?
With one more look in the mirror, I shrug. “At least I’m clean.” Pulling open the bathroom door, my mouth falls open. “You straightened up my place?”
