I love that taco truck. It’s the best.
No. I need to wait this thing out.
He deserves some time and patience, and I’m going to give it to him.
Heck, maybe I should whiskhimoff to the taco truck?
Mm. Tacos…
****
It hasn’t been all bad. I mean, it’s given us time to talk, you know, right before he falls asleep from exhaustion, the poor guy. Take last night, for example. Sam had his arms around me, spooning me like a boss, when he asked, “You feel like telling me about Chris?”
I didn’t hesitate. “We were fraternal twins, but we looked almost identical. His hair was lighter than mine, and he was a lot taller than me. But everyone knew we were twins the second they spotted us together.”
“What was he like?”
“Funny. Charming. Like your brother Jesse. Everybody loved him.”
“But not as much as you.”
It wasn’t a question, and it hit me square in the feels. “Nope.” Nobody loved Chris as much as me. That would have been impossible. “We were best friends. We kept each other’s secrets.”
“Do you still keep his secrets?”
“No. Not so much anymore. I feel like they should be told. Most of them, anyway.” Even though they were sort of dumb, I’ve kept a couple to myself. “I’ll tell you one.” I pause. “Chris wanted to travel. He was going off to college, but what he really wanted to do was backpack across Europe instead.”
“Why didn’t he?” Sam’s arm tightens around me. “Sorry.” I guess he realized that Chris died before he could make that dream a reality.
“No worries. He was going to college because he had a scholarship to play baseball.”
“Wow. That’s amazing.”
“He was really good. He was fast and could hit home runs like they were nothing.” I’m not sure I should say anything else, but I feel safe. “He didn’t really enjoy playing baseball all that much, but it made Mom and Dad so proud.”
“They would have understood.”
“I know. I always told him that. They loved him. We all did. They would have gone along with whatever he wanted to do.”
“What secrets did you tell him?”
I laugh at his question. “They were dumb, too. I told him if I liked one of his friends. He always kept those kinds of things to himself.”
“What happened that night?”
“He went to a graduation party. I was supposed to go with him, but I ended up hanging out with my best friend instead.” And I know if I had gone with him, he never would have died.
Sam hugs me tighter. “It’s not your fault.”
How can those four words still make me cry after all these years? “In my head I know, but my heart tells me different.”
“I didn’t know him, honey, but something tells me he wouldn’t want you to feel like that.”
“I know.” But I’ll always regret that night.Always.I run my hand over his and said, “Thank you for asking about him.”
“I’m sorry I never got to meet him. If he was anything like you, darlin’, we would have been good friends.”
I couldn’t respond to that because I was crying hard. After all this time, my heart still breaks for Chris.
