And there it is. It was about the tables one of the businesses had out on the sidewalks for customers. Bella’s Bakery was the business in question. They ruled against her, saying she needed a permit for that. Bella’s angry about it, but she’s going to apply for a permit. As soon as she “punches Mona Keres in the throat.” Her words.
After hearing about the last meeting, Kitty reads through the current agenda. And sure enough, Mona is on the docket. She’s last, though, which means (a) I’ve got to sit through this entire meeting and (b) she called it in at the last minute.
Not surprising, the first thing listed is about the show,Return to Zodiac Hills. Now I know why it’s standing room only.
This ought to be good.
Or bad. Depending on where you stand on your town being overtaken by singletons in search of love and a bunch of other people to stir up trouble.
I happen to believe it’s a bad thing, but my history taints my point of view. Kitty starts her spiel about what the city wants to do when the hubbub gets started. “Now, I know many of you weren’t around or were too young for the first wave from that television show. We were caught off guard that time. We don’t intend for that to happen again. We’re gonna be ready.”
I look over at my dad to see what he’s doing. He’s leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his face in one palm.
“With that in mind,” Kitty continues, “we would like to ask each and every one of you, and the many who didn’t show up tonight, to come up with ways we can use this to our advantage.”
There’s grumbling and excited chattering in the room. To shut everyone up, Kitty slams her hammer down. The room goes quiet.
I’ve got to give it to Kitty. She knows how to get everybody in line.
“As I said, we want to be prepared this time. That’s why we’re holding a special city council meeting in two weeks. That’s where we’d like you to give us some ideas, as a community or in our individual businesses to capitalize on what will be an influx of eager shoppers.”
Eager shoppers? I’m not sure that’s true. Shopping for a boyfriend or girlfriend, sure. But what do I know?
“Let us give you an example.” Kitty looks to her right at Bill Schumacher Jr., owner of Schumacher Shoes, located two doors down from Bella’s Bakery.
Bill, one of our three additional city council members, stands up and holds up a white tee. A tee that looks like it’s as old as dirt. Whatever used to be printed on the front has been crossed out, and the word “Capricorn” has been written, freehand, using what I’d guess is shoe polish. How would I know this?
I don’t.
But I know Bill Schumacher. I grew up with him. Nice guy. He’s got a thing for Bella but that’s never going anywhere because Bella likes bad boys. The badder the better. Anyhoo, he was a year older than me in school. And the man lives and breathes shoes. The second, and I mean that, the second he graduated from high school, he took over his parents’ shoe store. He couldn’t wait. But that’s not the only reason I suspect it’s shoe polish, but I’ll let that unfold organically. Let’s see if you can spot Bill’s little quirk.
“Thank you, Katherine.” Bill looks out at the audience with a nervous, twitchy sort of smile. “My idea is to sell t-shirts.”
That’d fit into his store perfectly. What was once Schumacher Shoes has, in the last year, become Schumacher Shoes & Apparel. Unfortunately, he didn’t go ahead and purchase a new sign for his additional revenue stream. Instead, he painted “& Apparel” on the sign. He squeezed it in, that is. It’s sort of halfway above the word Shoes and sideways down the right side. It’s okay. We get it.
“Like Katherine said, we need to be ready for this. We don’t want to be caught flat-footed.” Pulling the shirt in front of himself, we see he’s written C-A-P-R-I-C-O-R-N in big letters. He smiles proudly. “Since I’m a Capricorn, I thought I’d use this one as my mock-up.”
First of all… mock-up?
“Obviously, I’d have them professionally done.” He snickers. “I mean, we’ve got to put our best foot forward, am I right?”
There are a few snickers around the room, including one from me. Bill’s got a funny way of using shoe and foot clichés or analogies. He’s done it forever. One time, about two years ago, I ran into him at our little town bar, Brother’s Place. That’s when he told me he was thinking of running for city council. I took the chance to put the shoe on the other foot too and said, “Go for it. You’ll be ashoe-in.” I snickered at my own little joke. Bill merely nodded and thanked me for the encouragement.
He was though.
A shoo-in.
People around here like Bill. He’s good people.
“I’m going to print the various zodiac signs on the front.” He flips the shirt around so we can see the back. “On the reverse, I’m going to list any and all signs that Capricorn is compatible with. That way, newcomers can easily find their match and off they go.” He smirks. “On the bottom will be my store logo and phone number.”
“For a good shoe, call?” someone shouts from the other side of the room.
A few people laugh but most frown in the direction of the voice.
“Great idea, Bill.” Kitty gives him a sweet smile. “Now that’s the kind of thing we hope you will think about in the next two weeks. We’ll also talk about our plans to hire a big city ad agency to help us promote our fine little town.”
The room really goes berserk at that comment. I can hear grumbles and some clapping and a few people shouting. I hear the telltale sound of hammer on wood, and everyone goes quiet. “Look.” Kitty sighs. “We need to take advantage of this opportunity.”
