Emma
“Tellme why we’re doing this again?”
It’s been two weeks since the last time I saw Eli. It was the day I took him to the doctor. That’s also the day I lost my phone. I hope I find it soon because I can’t afford to replace it. I should cancel my plan, but that’s such a hassle, and I know the minute I do it, I’ll find my stupid phone. And don’t worry, the lack of phone didn’t stop me from trying to get in touch with him. I did. Carley had Cody’s number so when she sent him a text asking for Eli’s number, he sent a very rude reply. Something like “Fuck off, bitches.” That didn’t prevent me from stopping by his house. Again, Cody answered the door and told me, in no uncertain terms, that “Eli wasn’t home and if he was, he didn’t want to see me. Ever.” When I asked when he would be home, he just glared at me, saying, “Don’t fucking toy with my boy’s head, Emma.”
Toy with his head?I wouldn’t. I hadn’t.
To say it was unexpected well, it was an understatement. What had I done? Everything seemed fine when I dropped him at his house after the doctor’s visit and the store.
I still have no idea what happened. Carley told me to write him a real letter asking him. Her theory is that Eli’s dad somehow convinced him to stop seeing me. I could see that happening, I guess. Honestly, I have no clue what happened, and I’m not going to lie. It hurts. A lot. Not knowing is almost worse than the feeling of my heart breaking into a gazillion pieces. Almost.
“I told you. We’re getting you closure. You’ve done nothing but mope for the last two weeks, and I don’t foresee that changing until you know what happened. That’s the closure I’m talking about.”
She’s right, I suppose. The thing is, I don’t know if I want to see him. What’s going to happen if we end up in the same room? Is he going to turn and walk away? Will he get angry and make a scene? I just don’t have a clue.
My focus returns to Carley as she adds, “Anyhoo, I heard about this hockey party and figured it’d be a chance for you to bump into him.”
“Bump into him?” I hope she doesn’t mean literally. Like I said, just being in the same room with him is going to be too much.
“Sure.” She shrugs. “Let’s see what he does when he sees you looking all hot like that.” She points to my bare legs. She’s got me in that short dress again. At least I talked her out of the big hair and the over-the-top makeup.
I have no idea why I agreed to any of this.
The minute she pulls onto the street where the party is being held, my stomach flips over, my mouth gets suddenly dry, and sweat beads at my hairline. “This is a bad idea.”
Carley points to my right. “Ooh, look. There’s Eli’s car.”
I stare at the Illinois license plate and feel nauseous. “Terrible idea,” I mumble to myself.
“Nope. This is the perfect idea.”
It’s not. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You always say that. Do I need to double-dog da—”
“No.” I hold up my hand to stop her from finishing that sentence. “I’m here, aren’t I?”Stupid double-dog dares. That’s what got us into this situation in the first place. “Let’s just get this over with.” So I can go home and eat my weight in cookies.
* * *
“Okay.I spotted him. He just walked into the kitchen.”
I’ve been standing by the front door while Carley does reconnaissance. You have no idea how many times I reached for the doorknob, plotting my escape. Twenty times? Thirty?
“I’ll lead the way, but before we get there, then I’m going to disappear.”
“You’re not going to leave, right?” I swear, if she takes off without me, I’m going to kick her perfect little butt.
“No. I’ll be around. I’ll keep my eye on you, soyoudon’t take off on me.”
“I wouldn’t….”
She rolls her eyes. “You so would.”
She’s right. I feel like running now. “Fine.”
We get about five feet from the swinging door that leads to the kitchen and I halt. That’s when Carley reaches back, grabs my arm, and pulls me in front of her. Then, with her hands on my lower back, she gently pushes me closer to the door. “Go on. Just get it over with. Let’s see what he does.”
I watch her walk off into the crowd of people. With courage I didn’t know I had, I place my hand on the door, ready to push through when the door suddenly flies in my direction, hard. Hard enough that I’m launched backwards. I swear I’m airborne at one point. When I land with a thud on the ground, I feel pain on the back of my head, but that’s not the part that’s terrifying. It’s the fact that my dress is now up around my waist.
