“What is it about this furniture? Is it just because it belonged to your mom, or is it something else?”
It’s a valid question, since I seem to have a sort of obsession about this couch and chair. (I refuse to think about the loveseat. It turns out my new neighbor is a dipshit who has parties all the damn time. I’m not sure she even works, which is a worry. But I digress…) “Mom and I had all of our important moments on that sofa.” I nod at it. “We’d have movie nights, we’d talk, I’d cry to her about boy problems and friendship problems right where you’re sitting.” He looks down and touches the cushion. “That couch has secrets. Ones I want to share with my daughter.”
“Oh.” He looks at Brynn, then up at me. “Now I get it.”
I nod, because talking about my mom still makes me emotional, which makes it difficult to speak.
“Thank you for understanding.”
“It’s suddenly much more comfortable.” He bounces up and down a few times, then winces. He got poked. It makes me laugh—a welcome relief from my sadness.
* * *
I didn’t havetime to get the portable crib from Robin, so Brynn will just have to sleep in her carrier. She won’t mind. Everything else is packed up and ready to go. I look at the bags waiting at the door for Nate to grab and sigh. “Why does one little baby require so much stuff?” I look down at her in her carrier. “Brynn? Are you a diva?”
Nate knocks right then. “Come in.”
The second he steps in, or tries to, he gasps at the gear. “Wow. Is this all for her?” He steps over one of the two diaper bags I’ve packed and kisses Brynn on the forehead and then leans in further and kisses me on the cheek. “I’ll grab the bags. If you’re ready to go, that is?”
“We’re ready.”
“It’s hot outside.” He looks at my outfit of jeans and a long-sleeved flowy maternity top.
“I haven’t been able to shop for my current body.” I laugh nervously. “I’m wearing what I have on hand.”
“We can stop somewhere…”
I suddenly feel self-conscious. My outfit must look terrible. “Should I change?” Maybe I’ve got something else.
“You look beautiful. It’s just hot out there. You’re going to melt.”
“I’ll be fine.” I peek down at Brynn. I’ve got her in an adorable summer romper that Robin found at a little boutique near her store. “Brynn looks adorable, so that’s all that matters.”
“She always does. You always have her in some damn cute stuff.”
I do. I really do.
31
Nate
I’m fucking nervous,and not about my family. I’m nervous for Maggy to see my place. For her to see what I’ve done. It could make her angry; I never know with her, honestly. Missteps seem to be far too common with me.
“Welcome,” I say as I open the door. She’s only been to my place once, and that was for a night of debauchery. Debauchery of the very best kind. She must be thinking the same thing, because she’s suddenly blushing.
“Let me take her.” After setting all the baby’s bags down next to the door, I reach for the carrier. It took us a good twenty minutes to get the car seat portion of this contraption fitted into my car properly. Hell, we had to watch several YouTube videos in order to get it done.
“I think I’ll nurse her before we start. Maybe she’ll sleep while we work.”
“A good plan.”
She laughs. “Too bad babies don’t do really well with plans.”
“Right?” I laugh too. “I’d like to show you something.” With Brynn in hand, I step around the bags for now. “Follow me.” I make my way through the living room to the hallway that leads to my three bedrooms. I stop at the first door on the left and look back at Maggy.
God, I’m terrified.
Turning the knob, I push the door open and step aside. “After you.”
