They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. In this case, however, I think you should just assume it’s a coincidence. Maybe forget about your ex and get a dog of your own.
The next one isn’t quite as funny.
Dear Ida,
My wife of fifty-five years passed away twenty-three days ago. I can’t seem to figure out what to do with my day, my life. I miss her. She’s all around me. I can’t sleep or eat. I just want to be with her. —Sad, Brooklyn.
Oh, wow. I’ve got tears in my eyes over this one. The poor guy. I read on to see what Ida has to say.
Dear Sad,
I’m very sorry you’re having such a difficult time. While I haven’t experienced that kind of loss, I understand. So do many other people. There are several grief support groups in Brooklyn, some of which are online, but I would suggest finding one nearby where you can sit and talk with others who are going through the same thing. I know I speak for all of us when I say we hope you reach out for help. We care.
Well, shoot. That one was a tear-jerker. I need another funny one, so I read on.
Dear Ida,
I’ve got a thing for a girl at work…
Oh, hang on. This one is interesting.
…I know she likes me too, but she’s afraid our relationship will hurt her chances at a promotion. We’re on the same level at work so I don’t get why she’d feel that way. How can I convince her to giveusa shot? —Mike, LIC
Well, they signed it “Mike,” so it’s not Ben. I roll my eyes at my stupidity. How could it be Ben? Everything with us just happened—I look at my clock—thirty-six hours ago.
No matter. I read on because I want to know what Ida has to say about that one.
Dear Mike,
If youreallycare about this girl, give her the time she needs to win that promotion. If you don’t, you’re only thinking of yourself and you’ll fall right into the “typical man” category. Be better than that.
Wow, that was…. I lean back and think about Ida’s response. It was the right advice for Mike, and it’s right for Ben and me too.
It’s settled. If Ben really likes me, he’ll wait.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ben
I didn’t seeAlison in my neighborhood once in all the time I’ve lived here. Now I see her everywhere. Sure, we work together, but after that’s done, seeing her will be a constant reminder of what could have been.
Handing the guy my money, I grab the Sunday paper from the stack, roll it, and shove it under my arm. I’ve already taken Sky out to do her business, and now it’s time to do one of my favorite things: read the Sunday paper. The real one, not the online edition. I prefer to savor each and every page while I sip on coffee and relax at home.
After I’ve brewed a second pot of the good stuff, I pour a fresh cup and return to my sofa. Sky is happily situated next to me as I sort through each section of the paper. I’ve got a system. I stack my favorites up in the order I like to read them, starting with Sports and ending with theAsk Idacolumn. Yeah, I know, it’s probably more for the ladies, but guys write in too. Hell, I’ve considered writing in a time or two. Plus, for the most part, it’s lighthearted, which is a good thing.
I take my time through the other sections. Why not? I’ve got nothing else to do today except take care of Sky, eat, and snooze. Sure, I could get some work done, but that can wait until tomorrow.
Reaching for the section withAsk Ida, I lean down and, as gently as possible, set Sky next to me. Turning to the page I want, I fold the paper back and hold it with one hand while stroking Sky’s head with the other. I swear I hear her purr. Reading aloud, I start with the first one.
Dear Ida,
I just found out my ex-girlfriend got a new dog and named it after me…
I chuckle softly. “Did you hear that, Sky? Someone named their dog after an ex.”Scout?I chuckle again. I read the rest of the post, then Ida’s response. It cracks me up. I love this shit.
I continue reading a sad one about a man who lost his wife. “Wow, Sky.” I sigh. “Imagine being married that long.” She must have been the love of his life. I’m not sure why, but I immediately think of Alison.
Shaking my head, I read on. Ida’s advice for the poor guy in Brooklyn was decent. I wish I knew who he was. I’d go visit him, take him out to a ball game or something. The lastAsk Idapost is one that relates directly to me. “Dear Ida, I’ve got a thing for a girl at work…”
