Chapter Two
Tayler
The second I’m out the door of Cy’s Roost, Luke Green’s bar, I’m finally able to take a breath. No, I wasn’t holding it, but it felt like it. I mean, the second he touched my hand, I thought I was going to pass out. It was that charged. How I kept my cool, I’ve no idea. A better question? How did I stop from going home with the man? Again, no idea. But I did. Hell, I even sounded sort of cool—aloof. Ha! What a joke. I’m the least aloof person on the planet. Control is the name of the game with me, even though inside I’m a frigging mess. I could blame my ex, Dylan, for some of that, but the truth is, I’ve needed to feel like I’ve had some kind of control over my life since I was fourteen.
I think it’s what drove Dylan away, to be honest. I had him on a tight leash, as they say, most likely because he was my complete opposite and I thought I was doing what was best for him—for us. They say opposites attract, and I suppose that’s the way it was with us. It was also our undoing. He wanted to go out, do fun stuff, while I wanted to stay in and make sure I kept my grades up. Sure, we went out now and then, usually to Cy’s but sometimes to other bars too. His friends were douchebags and I never wanted to spend much time with them, so the last few months of our relationship, Dylan went out without me. That’s when it happened. When he mether.Savanna. I should thank her. She helped end a four-year relationship that had gone stagnant.
I’m lying. I hate her. I hatehim. No, that’s not true. I love him in a fucked-up way. I’ll probably always love him. He was my first, well, everything. First love, first sex, and first heartbreak. That last one sucks. Heartbreak is the perfect word to describe it because my heart literally cracked in half in my chest over Dylan.
To make matters worse, I had to do that all alone, without my best friend Quinn, since I angered Quinn so much so she wouldn’t speak to me for weeks. Sure, I could have contacted her, but that wasn’t our dynamic. For years she would always be the first to cave whenever we had a tiff. Not this time, though. This time she grew some balls somehow, and that meant I either had to crawl back and beg forgiveness or I had to deal with the end of my relationship with Dylan alone. Since I’m stubborn, I chose the latter. And it sucked.
Tonight, though, I feel… better. And not because hot Luke Green hit on me. It helped, sure, but it’s all of it. I got myself out of my loungewear that I’ve been wearing for a few weeks, did my hair, and put some pretty clothes on so I could hang with my bestie and her new “friend.” (We’ll get to Cooke, the English rugby guy, in a bit.) I got gussied up to go out, and it made me feel like myself again. My life is a mess right now, but a night at Cy’s is one step closer to normalcy.
As I left the bar, I hugged Quinn and told her to “make good choices.” That saying cracks me up because honestly, I hope she makes a terrible choice tonight. She’s held on to her V-card for far too long, and if she’s going to lose it, she should lose it to a guy who flew halfway across the world to see her.
Sigh.
Dylan wouldn’t have done that. Hell, he would barely drive to my parents’ house while we dated. I always had to go to him, and we lived in the same town.
I wonder if Luke Green is that kind of guy. Would he travel a million miles to get to the woman he loves? Doubtful. From our interaction tonight, I think he prefers easy and convenient. Well, I’m neither of those things, sadly. For that split second, I almost gave in to my baser instincts with him, because I know sleeping with Luke would have been memorable. Probably life-altering. Hell, he’d probably put Dylan to shame (not hard to do) and also ruin it for my future husband or whatever.
Yeah, I bet sex with Luke Green would have been spectacular. But I’ll never know.
God, I want to cry.
So I do.
