Chapter Twelve
Luke
What happened to my life?
I used to be so content. Okay, that’s not true. Content isn’t the kind of word I’d ever use to describe any part of my world. But I had a routine. One I liked. I got up, ate something, and then I came to work. Repeat. Over and over and over again.
Now that routine is making me goddamn crazy because instead of getting on with my day, I wake up and wonder if today’s the day Tayler decides to call me.
Don’t look at me like that.
Ihavetried to call her. It goes straight to voice mail. Well, now it does. For a while it’d ring once or twice and that’s it. I know that means she declined my call. At least now she doesn’t bother to do that. That’s got to be an improvement, yeah?
My thoughts turn to the beautiful redhead all day long—not just first thing in the morning. It happens at lunch, at dinner, and it’s especially bad at night, in my bed. I lie there in my new blue room wondering what she’s doing. Part of me is worried she’s with someone else, but I know that’s not her style, and for once, it makes me feel at ease. I guess she could have gotten back with her ex, but Quinn didn’t think that was going to happen. I hope she’s right.
I know they moved last weekend. I could have taken time off to help, but according to Dan, the rugby guy, they got it all done in no time. I was pissed at first. I mean, it’s a man’s job to help his girl move.
Don’t say it.
She’s not my girl, but she is my friend. Okay, she used to be my friend. My bad attitude got in the way again. If she’d given me a chance that night, I could have told her that my beer delivery was all fucked up, which caused a chain reaction of bad shit at the bar, but I don’t think it’d matter. She told me, point-blank, to quit being a “grumpy asshole”. (Okay, not her exact words but that’s it in a nutshell.)
I guess I didn’t listen.
In my defense, though, sometimes life sucks and a guy is entitled to be an asshole. Right? Life isn’t all sunshine and unicorn shit flying around. Sometimes it’s bullshit.
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. I need a cut; it’s getting unruly. I also need to see her. I know where they live now. Dan told me. I’m sure he didn’t think much about it, and why would he? I’m no stalker or creeper. But knowing where she lives does give me an idea. Quinn’s gone for a week, and Tayler’s alone in a new place. That’s probably a little unnerving. I need to make sure she’s okay. It’s what friends do, right?
* * *
When the door opens,I smile at the sight of her. She looks disheveled. And a little dirty. And a lot tense. Not only that, her arms are crossed and her hip is jutting out to the side. Defensive stance. I look behind her at four or five stacks of boxes. Moving into a new place is hard work. Looking back down at her, I say, “Babe.”
One word. It seems to relax her. Her once tense face softens a bit. “Luke.”
“Can I come in?” I ask, holding up a box of Jeff’s pizza in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other. “I came to feed you.” And to apologize, but I’ll get to that in a bit.
Her arms drop to her side and she steps back. “Sure. I could eat.”
Stepping into her new apartment, I smile. “This is cool.” It has character, high ceilings covered in tin, and it’s big and open. “How’d you score this place?” There had to be a wait list.
“It was all Quinn. She charmed the hell out of the owner and his dog.”
“Yeah?” I could see that. Quinn is a sweet girl.
I watch Tayler move into her kitchen. Up on her tiptoes, she reaches into a cupboard to retrieve two plates. “She also didn’t put up with any bullshit from the man. I wish I’d recorded it for posterity.”
I follow her into the space and set the pizza on the counter. Opening up the fridge, I pull two bottles from the pack and put the rest in to stay cool. “She’s somethin’.”
“She is.” Tayler giggles as she sets the plates down. “Fierce is the first word to come to mind to describe her now, because that’s nothing like the Quinn from high school.”
My thoughts turn to Tayler in high school. I bet she was a stunner even then. Not that it was that long ago, but still. She’s a woman now, but I bet even as a girl, she was spectacular. Staring at her I realize how much I’ve missed her.A lot.
As Tayler turns around again to get something else, I move in closer. By the time she’s turned back my way, she bumps into me. Taking advantage of that, I wrap my arms around her and pull her close. With one hand on her back and the other on her face, I whisper, “I’m sorry.”
“Oh.” Tayler’s voice is soft and a little husky. Her head moves up slowly. When our eyes meet, she whispers, “Me too.”
God, I want to kiss her.So bad.I can’t, though, so I lean down slowly. It’s then I hear her breath hitch. She’s not moving either. Does she want me to kiss her? She has to know what it’d mean. Temporary.
I do the right fucking thing and kiss her forehead. You know, like a guy kisses his sister. I can feel the disappointment radiate off her in waves. She’s out of my arms in less than a second and reaching into the pizza box in a second more.
She wanted me to kiss her. Hell, I wanted to. But I couldn’t pull the trigger, and I know, without a doubt, that it was a mistake. There’s no goin’ back from that. I’ve lost her, at least the part of her that would have been in my bed. I’m surefriendTayler is still there, but the other? Gone.
Yep. I’m fucked from that forehead kiss. Totally and completely fucked.
