“Even his name….” Tayler rolls her eyes.
“Hey! There’s nothing wrong with his name. He can’t help that. He was born with it.”
“It’s not his name that bothers me.”
Here we go. This is where she launches into a fifteen-minute diatribe on why my crush on Bryant Falco is stupid. I know it’s stupid, but it can’t be helped. It was love at first sight. When he walked into my three-dimensional design class last spring, he looked around the room like he owned the place. When his eyes met mine, he smirked and made his way to my table. After sitting right next to me, he turned, gave me a devastatingly handsome smile, and said, “Hey.”
Bam. Love.
Then hekeptsitting by me, even though there were plenty of empty seats about and lots of attractive girls in the class. But he sat byme.Now, even though we don’t have any classes together this semester, I still try to pop in to see him when he’s working at the sandwich shop on Welch Avenue. I do my best to bump into him whenever possible, and I drag Tayler along with me. “We can’t help who we love, Tayler.”
“You don’t love him.”
Why does she do that? “You don’t know what it’s like when it’s just the two of us.”
I think I picked the wrong time to say that, because the sip of coffee she just took ended up all over our table and me. “Fuck. You did not just say that bullshit.”
Grabbing napkins, I do my best to wipe the dark liquid from the front of my white tee. Of course I wore white today. “It’s true.”
“And by alone, you mean the one and only time you two worked on a project together?”
I’m starting to feel picked on here. “We’ve hung out.” No, we really haven’t. I’ve seen him at Cy’s a couple of times, and he’s had a beer with me. Technically, I approached him and drank my beer as we chitchatted. He’s nice. He’s always very jovial and sweet to me. I don’t know why Tayler is so down on Bryant Falco. “He’s the perfect man for me.”
“Okay, first off, there’s no such thing as a perfect guy.”
“Dylan is pretty perfect.” That’s her boyfriend. They’ve been together since junior year of high school and live together in an apartment on the east side of Ames.
“No, Dylan is definitely not perfect. Nobody is.”
“But he’s perfect for you.”
Tayler shrugs.
“What? He is.”
“Dylan’s fine. But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you.”
“Look. I’m not naïve. I know the chances of Bryant Falco liking me back are slim to none, but for once in my life, I’m doing my best to think positively. Even if we end up as friends only, I’m okay with that, because I’d rather have him in my life than not.”
“You say all the right things, dearest friend, but I know you. You’re going to be heartbroken the first time you see him with another girl.”
“Wow.” I gather my garbage to throw it away as I leave the Hub. “You have no faith that Bryant will ever see anything in me. Hell, you probably don’t think anyone will like me as more than a friend.”
“No. I didn’t say—”
I hold my hand up to stop her from talking. “That’s okay. I get it.” I feel the burn behind my eyes and nose that always precedes tears. But I’m not gonna do it. I refuse to tear up in front of Tayler. “I’ll die alone. Me and my thirty-six cats.”
“Stop it.” She tugs on the sleeve of my tee to keep me from leaving. “You’re just trying to make me feel bad.”
I halt because it hits me like a ton of bricks. Turning back slowly, I look at my beautiful best friend. Her long auburn hair practically sparkles, it’s so shiny. Her perky little nose dotted with freckles that are obvious since she barely wears makeup. She doesn’t need it. Then there’s her petite body. She’s never been bigger than a size four. When she was, she thought she was fat. Ha. That’s a joke.
“I can’t make you understand how I feel about Bryant, but you’re supposed to be my best friend. You’re supposed to support me even if failure is inevitable. That’s when best friends come in handy—that’s when they come to the rescue. But you don’t even think I have a chance with him. Why is that? I’m not hideous.” I look down at my big T-shirt and leggings with the tear in the knee, then back up at Tayler. “I’m fat. I know that. Some guys like a little meat on a girl’s bones.” I haven’t met one of those unicorns yet, but maybe someday.
“Bryant isn’t one of those guys.”
“How do you know?”
“Because, my sweet, delusional friend, if Bryant wanted you, he’d have already made a move.”
