Chapter 9
Lainie
His question is just floating out there in space.Tell me, honey. I need to understand it. You knew he was gay when you married him. Why did you do it?I can’t figure out why he wants to know. Not only that, I’m not sure I’m prepared to tell him.
“Lainie?”
Kicking off my shoes, I lay down on my bed. “I married him because he asked.”
“Is that all it takes to get you to marry someone? If that’s the case…”
“No,” I laugh. “I was nineteen, almost twenty. I’d never had a boyfriend. I was always the third wheel.”
“The third wheel.” He repeats my words, but it’s not a question.
“Yes. Years of being the poor, fat, single girl was enough for me. So, when Lewis told me he needed cover for him to achieve his career goals, I agreed.”
“You’re not fat, babe. You’re curvy and lush. Damn, it’s making me hard again just thinking about you.”
I ignore him, because, I need to keep going. If he wants to hear this, I need to do it now. “Anyway, it helped us both out, so I said yes. We married a few weeks later at the courthouse.”
“No big wedding?”
“No.”
“Did you want one?”
God, why is he asking me this? “Keeton,everygirl wants a big wedding. But, it would have been a lie. Besides, I couldn’t do that to my dad. Weddings are expensive.”
“I get that.” He sighs on the other end. Is he frustrated with me? “What happened after you got married? Did you buy a home together? A car? Did you go to college?”
“We moved into his condo. We lived there the entire time. We each had our own bedroom. We had one car for the first two years then he bought me a used minivan.”
“A minivan? Did you have children?”
“No. He wanted to give the appearance he was a family man. He works at the bank. He had career aspirations. I was part of his scheme to earn promotions. The little woman at home, you know?”
“Why don’t you have a car now?”
I don’t know why I’m telling him any of this. He seems to care about me and for some reason, I feel the same about him. “Everything was in his name. I signed the divorce papers on the spot. I didn’t even have my own attorney. By the time I was served, I just wanted out.”
“Fuck,” he spits. “What kind of settlement did he give you?”
“None.”
“None!” he shouts. “You provided him cover for ten years so he could make a name for himself at work and you got nothing?”
“I had an allowance.”
“I’ve never wanted to pummel someone as much as I do your ex-husband. Why the fuck do you still use his name?”
“I’m used to it.”
“That’s it? You’re used to it? Jesus, woman.”
Okay, I’ve had enough. He’s starting to sound like Lewis. His tone is getting accusatory. I’m not doing that again. “I’ve got to go.” I hang up the phone without another thought. I let the tears roll down my cheeks the same way. Crying is cathartic, and I need something cathartic.
Keeton:I’m sorry. I know how that sounded. Like an asshole. What you call yourself is your business. I overstepped. Forgive me?
That’s something I’m not used to. Apologies. Lewis never apologized. Ever. I wait a few minutes before I respond.
Me:Apology accepted. See you tomorrow.
I hope Keeton recognizes that I’m not going to put up with another Lewis. No way. He’s right about my name though. It’s why I have to leave early tomorrow—I’m going to the courthouse to officially change my name back to Palmer. And that decision was mine, and mine alone. No man told me to do it. However, there were a few women, four to be exact, encouraging me to change it but that’s different. They’re my sisters.
