“Let me start at the beginning.” So I do. I tell her about my first reaction to seeing Lainie at my door. About the hour I spent with her in my office. That I kissed her without giving it a second thought. When I’m done, I wait for her to speak.
See, here’s the thing about Deb. She tells it like it is. She’s a plain-speaker. No bullshit. She doesn’t have the time or the patience. The other thing—she’s even less romantic than I am. She likes to fuck and that’s it. Deb never wanted flowers or candy or date nights, ever. Maybe that’s why we didn’t quite click. She and I are too much alike. And maybe I’d like a little bit of that romance shit. Just a little.
“Okay. Do you want me to be frank?”
“No. Lie to me.”
“Ha-ha.”
“Yes. Say it.”
“Okay. But, don’t be pissed.”
Shit. Why would I be pissed? “I won’t be pissed.” To her face.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
“I do.” And I know she means she loves me like a friend or a brother. Yeah, we used to fuck so the brother thing sounds creepy. Let’s just go withfriend.
“Keep in mind I’ve never met her, and you left out any description of her, but I’m going to tell you what I think she looks like first.”
I wait.
“She’s curvy and very pretty. Sweet, almost.”
Shit. Does she have cameras in this place? I look around my office.
“Am I right so far?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to assume she’s blonde but that’s not a deal-breaker.”
“Brunette.”
“Oh, interesting. She’s around your age, maybe younger. She’s feisty but you know damn well she’d make you cookies if you’re having a bad day and treat you like a fucking king.”
Shit. “How?”
“She’s naïve, and a little shy.”
“Fuck, Deb. How do you know this shit?”
She laughs, “Because she’s my exact opposite.”
“Shut the fuck up. Why would you say that?”
“Because I’ve known you for, what, twenty years? I know you loved me, but you, Keet, need someone who needsyou. You want to take care of someone and you want that person to take care of you too. I never needed you. I loved you, sure, but not that way. Does this woman need a man in her life, from what you could tell in an hour?”
“Not just any man.” For fuck’s sake. “She was married to a gay guy for ten years.”
“Why? That’s fucked up.”
“Not sure. I plan to get to the bottom of that.” Bottom. Palmer-Bottoms. I also plan to get her to drop Bottoms as soon as possible. Maybe even add Gustafson to that hyphen. Holy shit, what am I saying?
“How could this happen this fast? You know how I am.”
“When you know, you know. Yeah, that sounds fucking sickeningly romantic coming from me, but it’s true. Some people never get that feeling you got today. I wouldn’t discount it. Why don’t you let yourself see where this goes? Don’t hold back. This could be the icing on your cake, Keet. You’ve grown a successful business, you’ve taken care of your brother and sister, making sure they’ve got what they need. Now it’s your turn. Icing. You can have it all. A woman who dotes on you and who gives you the family you’ve always wanted.”
“I haven’t…”
“You have. I swear you almost cried when you held Madalyn the first time. I know. I was there.” Deb is one of my family. She’s close to my sister and little brother. I got lucky with her. “I want to meet this girl. Do you think she’ll take the job?”
“I hope so.”
“Let me know. I’ll drive down. We can get a beer or something after.”
“Sure. Sounds good.” I only hope Lainie takes the job. I want her here. Hell, I want her, period.
