“Well…”
“I can’t remember,” Scott mumbled.
“You didn’t jerk off when we were in prison together.”
Scott shook his head. “You don’t know that.”
“Did you?”
“No, but –”
“Have you forgotten how to touch yourself?” Thomas asked, frowning, like it was a genuine question and not a massive insult.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I know I asked you this a few days ago, but I’m going to ask you again. Scott…do you like your body?”
“Of course I do,” Scott said through gritted teeth.
“What specifically do you like about it?”
“I like that men pay for it.”
Thomas’s eyes widened. For a few moments, he looked stunned, then he shook his head. “Let’s take other people out of the equation for one secon –”
“Why? This is for other people. I need to make videos to make money; it’s as simple as that. My face is the cover, and my body and what I can do with it are the pages inside that satisfy the reader.”
Thomas stared, unblinking.
Scott rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t ask a book if it likes itself. It has no opinion – it’s a book.”
“You’re not a damn book, Scott.” Thomas let loose a long sigh. “I always thought I was the most fucked-up one between us.”
“I’m not fucked –”
“What if something happens and no one looks at your cover anymore? What if no one wants your pages? If you’re left to gather dust on the bookshelf of the internet?”
Scott shrugged. “Then it’s over, isn’t it?”
“What’s over?”
Everything.
“Are you going to help me with this or not?” Scott snapped.
Thomas’s nostrils flared. “I said I would –”
“Then stop telling me that one day no one will want me.”
“That’s not what I was trying to say –”
“Just press play on the camera.”
Thomas sighed and restarted all the cameras facing Scott on the bed. He held his thumb up, and Scott began touching himself, but his mind was elsewhere, and it felt like nothing. His hand felt like nothing. The nerves in his skin weren’t connecting. It didn’t feel good, it didn’t feel bad, it wasnothing, and maybe Thomas was right, somewhere along the line he’d forgotten how to touch himself, how to make himself feel good.
“Shut your eyes,” Thomas said softly.
“Why?”
