Chad kept staring.His expression became more and more vacant until Romeo couldn’t handle it anymore.
“Enough,” Romeo snapped, rushing forward.He grabbed Chad by the arm and yanked him away from the railing.Chad didn’t resist.He looked up at Romeo with big eyes, rain streaming down his face, then made his way back to the car.
Romeo peered over the edge, torturing himself with the sound of furious water, before joining Chad in the car.
“These are the facts,” Chad said softly, “A witness said he jogged past me at approximately 5:15.I was against the railing staring straight ahead.He ran back the other way ten minutes later, and that’s when he saw me heave myself over the railing, then jump.”
Romeo remained mute in the backseat.Chad’s eyes stayed on him in the mirror, fiery and focused.
“He said I never looked down, I stared straight ahead into the distance,” Chad looked out his window.“At what, I don’t know.He heard me shout something when I surfaced, but the current dragged me under.He managed to stop a car.The driver happened to be a paramedic on the way to work.They ran down the bank on the opposite side, spotted my coat.They got me out...”
“How long...”
“They think I was under between six to eight minutes.An ambulance was called.It arrived on scene at—”
“No,” Romeo balled his hand on his thigh.“How long had you been thinking about this?”
Chad turned his head.“I ...I don’t under—”
“How long had you been planning on killing yourself?”Romeo tried to push down the anger, but it rose in his chest.“When we were away, Mercutio woke me up.He was whining, distressed, because you had shut him inside.You were standing on the balcony.The balcony at the edge of a cliff with the swirling sea beneath you.”
“I can’t remember—”
“Were you going to do it then?If I hadn’t have interrupted you, would you have jumped?Would you have left me like that?Would you have let me find you like that, battered on the rocks below or maybe the sea would’ve carried you off and I never would’ve known what happened to you.”
Chad bowed his head.
“Is that what you were planning?Did I interrupt you?”Romeo asked savagely.
Chad didn’t answer.
“You were never going to see Josh that day.This wasn’t a spur of the moment decision.You’d been planning it.”
“I—”
Romeo squeezed his eyes shut.“You didn’t take Mercutio with you.You always take him when you go to see Josh.He loves Josh and Josh loves him, but you didn’t take him.You knew you were coming here.You knew what you were going to do.”
“I don’t—”
“Yes you do!”
“I don’t!”Chad twisted in his seat.“I don’t know, okay?I don’t remember a balcony.I don’t remember coming here and jumping!”
“Is that why we’re here right now?So you can try again?”
Chad glowered.
“Because I’m not going to stop you, Chad, go right ahead.”
The words were acid in Romeo’s mouth and his stomach rolled at such a thought, but they kept coming.“Hell, I’ll even help you.I’ll throw you over the fucking edge.I’ll hold you under until water fills your lungs.”
Chad turned away.“I want to understand, I want to know, that’s why we’re here, but you shouting at me isn’t going to help yourself, or me.”
“I have no interest in helping you.It’s too late for that.”
“You’ve made that clear,” Chad snapped, taking off from the curb.
They drove in stifling silence and, once back, Chad disappeared to the bedroom.
