“It’s impossible to feel something for someone I just met. We don’t know each other.” It’s like I’m trying to convince Edith, along with myself, that what’s going on inside me isn’t real.
“Oh Kellan, I wish I could live in your fantasy world. Are there gumdrop flowers there too?”
I narrow my eyes at her, but Edith has never been afraid of me. It’s one of the reasons I respect her so much.
“Now if you want my advice?—”
“Clearly I don’t,” I cut her off, but she ignores me.
“You’ll open your eyes.”
“What?” I stare at her with confusion as she shakes her head.
“You’re a good man, Kellan. A little too bossy at times, but you have a lot to offer someone. And not only when it comes to money and security. The things you care about go deep and become a part of you. You’re generous with your time, and you listen when people talk. You take an interest in what excites people, and best of all, you make space for people to be the best version of themselves. I’ve watched you with employees countless times over the years, and I know you don’t even realize it’s happening. You think order and rules make people stay, but it’s the way you make them feel seen.” Edith comes over and pats me on my cheek, and it feels like something a mom would do. It makes my chest tighten with a longing for something I never had. “She deserves a chance to get to know the man you really are.” Edith smiles softly before she heads for the door. “Now get your butt in gear. Guests are waiting.”
“I’ll be right out,” I say and clear my throat of the emotion that’s building up. She nods, but before she turns to go, I call out, “Thank you, Edith. For all of that.”
“You know I never had kids, but if I had, they’d be about your age. And I think I did a pretty good job raising you.”
“You did,” I agree, and she closes the door behind her.
I take a deep breath and think about what she’s said and if she might be right. I’m not sure why I always assume the worst in myself, but I do know that control is how I’ve learned to cope with loss and anxiety. Maybe everything I’ve been feeling for Nova is mixed up in that, and it’s why I can’t seem to think straight around her. Everything comes out in these barked orders.
Needing to talk to Nova, to hold her, I hurry out of my office. As soon as I reach the stairs, Nova and Aurora appear at the top, ready to descend. It’s like something out of a fairy tale as they come down to where I’m standing, and all I can do is stare up at the two most important people in my life.
Nova is wearing a rose gold-colored dress that sparkles and clings to her curves. My eyes move up and down her body, and I have to remind myself that there are people watching. As much as I want to drag her back to our room, I have to stay calm.
“Uncle Kellan, are you okay?” Aurora asks when she stops in front of me. “Your mouth is hanging open.”
I snap it shut as she giggles. “I’m in awe of how stunning you look,” I tell her as she does a little twirl beside me. “I see you went with the pink dress. Good choice.”
Aurora shocks me by flinging herself into my arms. “Thank you, they were all so pretty.”
“You kept them all, right?” I ask, and she nods as I squeeze her back. “Excellent.”
“Who wants cake?” Edith says from beside us, and I see she’s with Aurora’s sitter for the night. Before I can tell Aurora that she needs to have dinner first, she’s running away with Edith and the sitter.
“Dang it, I wanted cake for dinner too.” Nova pouts as she watches them leave.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me, but I promise to feed you any kind of cake you want,” I say, and Nova gives me a slight smile.
“Even red velvet?”
“All you have to do is say the word,” I tell her as I walk closer. “But first I have to tell you how incredible you look.”
“Well, I was told you were very specific.” Nova blushes as she looks down at her dress. “But I think you picked out a good one.”
Reminding myself that I need to say the words out loud, I clear my throat as I take Nova’s hand in mine. “I’m grateful you’re here, and I want you to stay. Not just for Aurora but for me too.” I look into her eyes and take a deep breath. “This is new to me. Being with you physically, but also these feelings I have for you. I don’t want my control to scare you off, but I don’t know how to loosen my grip.”
“Kellan,” Nova whispers as I wrap my other hand around her waist and pull her body against mine.
“Don’t make me start another year without you.”
Chapter Fifteen
NOVA
I stare up at his handsome face, wanting what he’s telling me to be true. When I read a few of the articles I could find about his personal life, it was sad. I can’t imagine what it would be like to grow up in the system and not have a loud, loving family around you at all times. My parents adore my brothers and me, and while my brothers drive me crazy half the time, I love them to pieces.
