I blinked. “I can’t trust you.”
His jaw ticked. “You shouldn’t.”
“What?”
“You shouldn’t trust me,” he repeated, softer. “Not after last time. Not after… before.”
Before.
Meaning:
Before this life.
Before Reverie.
Before the curse.
Lilibet.
Kratos.
My throat tightened. “I saw it.”
He closed his eyes, as if the words physically hurt him. “I know.”
“You killed your Faction.”
His breath hitched. “I didn’t mean—I didn’t want?—”
“You defied the Ancestors and caused misery for thousands of years!”
“And I would again,” he whispered, voice breaking. “That’s the problem.”
Something inside me stuttered.
He looked away—shame, fury, longing, and madness flickering across his face like a storm. “You don’t know what it’s like,” he ran a hand down his face. “To suddenly understand that you’re the one who ruined an entire population. Lost the one person you were born to love.”
His voice cracked into something jagged. “You don’t know what it’s like fighting off insanity every day and being split three ways.” He pressed a palm to his temple as if he could physically hold himself together. “Part of me wants to shield you from everything.” His hand trembled. “Part of me wants to run before I hurt you again.” His eyes lifted—shattered, feral, terrified. “And part of me—the part you saw in the vision—” His breath shuddered. “That part wants to burn anyone who looks at you.”
Silence.
Heavy. Crushing.
I swallowed hard. “Which part brought me here?”
A bitter laugh slipped from him. “All three.”
Then his expression shifted—just slightly—into something darker. “But if you’re asking which part wanted to keep you close…” He lifted one hand, stopping inches from touching my cheek. “Kratos.”
My heart hammered.
“I’m not asking you to trust me,” he pushed his silky hair off his face. “But right now? The only one who can lead you to Rue—” His eyes flicked upward, savoring my surprise, pupils shrinking to a thin, inhuman ring. “—is the monster you’re afraid I still am.”
I swallowed. “Are you that monster?”
He smiled.
Sad.
