I glare at her and reload my spoon, but I can’t bring it to my mouth.I am stuffed.I’ve eaten so much ice cream these last few days I’ve grown immune to the sugar high, like a junkie.
“I don’t need an intervention.I need a job.I need a life.”My voice catches on that last bit.
“I know, hon.”She drapes her arm around my shoulders.“You’ve had some challenges, but it’s time to pick yourself up.”
“How?”I sink lower and curl into her.Being a loser sucks.“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Yes you do.You’re an artist.You took all those fancy classes back in college because it was easy for you and it’s what other people would have done if they had your brains.But now you need to think about how you want to live the rest of your life.”
Gen’s been dealing with the deep stuff while I’ve lived a relatively charmed existence.Finances were tight, but I had a smooth home life.Meanwhile, Gen mentioned a few of the trials she grew up with living with her mom, none of them good.It’s a wonder she came out so normal.She’s stronger and wiser than she knows.
“I have thought about what I want to do, and it’s not working out.I should just go to law school,” I mumble.“It’s not too late.I haven’t gotten around to notifying them I’m not attending.”
Gen pinches my chin and lifts my head until she’s staring me down.“Don’t throw your life away because you’re scared.”She’s mentioned her fears before and how they crippled her.She’s speaking from experience.
I thought I had everything figured out, but it was artificial, shallow.I should have focused on my own life and left Gen to deal with hers.She’s doing just fine without me meddling.
Pity party is over.I squish the top of the carton back on the ice cream and set it on the floor.
Gen watches me approvingly.She shifts and taps her toe, her chin propped on her fist like she’s thinking.
She looks pretty and powerful.My BF has changed these last two months.She’s still her, just more confident.I thought I was confident, and maybe I am, but it was because others told me what I was doing was fantastic, not because I thought it was.When I get out of this, I’ll be stronger and it will be genuine.I’ll have confidence because I’m doing what makes me happy, not simply what’s expected.
“I’d bet money Drake has something to do with Blue giving you poor references,” she says.“You’ll have a hard time finding a job.”
“I know.I’ve considered he’s probably behind it.”
Gen’s eyes narrow as she gazes absently across the room.She nods as if she’s having a silent conversation with herself.“I already talked to Nessa.I’ll follow up with her.We’ll find something.”
I close my eyes and let out a weighty sigh.It’s difficult to imagine there’s a job out there that doesn’t require references and still pays enough to cover my expenses.As much as the job situation upsets me, it’s not the thing hurting me the most right now.
Gen squeezes my hand, peering at my face.“I don’t know why he hasn’t called, Cali.He’s dealing with stuff.Big stuff.Have you tried talking to your brother?Has he heard anything?”
“Jaeger’s off the grid.He’s not taking calls.He never returned Tyler’s texts.”
“Give him time.A few days isn’t long, considering what he’s going through.Don’t forget, he’s one of the good guys.”
“I know.”My eyes bead up with tears.I shake my head.“This hurts worse.”
“Worse than Eric,” she says, understanding without me having to say it.
“Losing Eric was nothing compared to this.My pride took a hit with Eric and I was sad, but this… this is like someone took an ice pick to my heart and punched a few thousand holes in it.”I buckle and lay my head in her lap.
Gen strokes my head for several seconds.“There’s only one thing to do in this situation.”
“Apply for a heart transplant?”I mumble.
She reaches over me, smashing my skull on her lap in the process.The television clicks on and I look up.She’s running through Netflix.The chalet is ancient, but it has entertainment perks.
Obviously, a man owns the rental.
Gen pulls upWhat Would William Pelt Do?“We ogle hot William for twelve to fifteen hours until our minds go numb.”
As solutions go, this one isn’t bad.Gen and I watch William’s abs and his dating mishaps for the next couple of hours.I end up laughing so hard my ice cream gut cramps.
Life could be worse.But I wish a few things would start working out again.
ChapterTwenty-Six
