I don’t want Jaeger to be a rebound, that’s true, and I worry about it some, but not as much as before.Jaeger’s different.We’re different.If I allow it, I think this could be something serious.But life is confusing right now.I don’t know what I want to do about school, but I also don’t want to mess up what’s between me and Jaeger.Because I like it.I like it a lot.
Jaeger walks up the steps to a small covered porch with logs for support beams and a wide stone chimney with a built-in outdoor grill.Picture windows off the porch face the lake.He unlocks the door and we step inside the house.
It’s not what I expected.
The exterior was spectacular, but anyone can rent a place that looks good from the outside.The interior and what you do with it is something else entirely, especially when it comes to men.
There isn’t a hint of guy-shabby chic anywhere inside Jaeger’s place, not even your token crooked wall hanging.A modern, comfortable-looking sable sectional faces the hearth, a massive TV to the side of the fireplace.The art around the room is the real deal, colorful, but masculine to match the decor.There’s a dining table like the trestle table inside Jaeger’s parents’ house, only this one is carved with Mission-style accents.
Jaeger strides past the kitchen island and opens a stainless steel refrigerator.“Can I get you anything to drink?”
My mouth is parched, but not from thirst.Nerves are getting to me.Who is this person with the beautiful home, wooing me like I’ve never been wooed before?And am I ready for him?
He’s everything I never knew I wanted.
I thought I was self-confident to a fault, and that was how I ended up with Eric.We fell into a committed relationship, becauseIpersisted and determined we would.I was at the top of my class, destined for a great career.A guy’s not sure?You charm him into being sure.I made it easy for Eric to be with me.I didn’t complain about him going out with his friends.Didn’t ask why he never introduced me to his family.He didn’t have to work for us.I made it happen.
But this thing with Jaeger is different.We’re on equal ground emotionally and intellectually, and it makes me nervous.What have I to offer?I have no job, an uncertain future… it was all fun and games when I thought I had a leg up professionally, but I’m beginning to wonder about his bear-carving business.
“Just water, thanks.”
Jaeger hands me a glass and pulls out a blue ceramic bowl from the refrigerator, containing a fluffy green salad with sliced strawberries on top.A plate of raw meat joins the salad on the counter.
He turns on a grill in the cooktop and spreads out slices of meat.“Make yourself comfortable,” he says over his shoulder.“This will take about ten minutes.We’ll eat, and then I’ll show you around.”
I glance at his immaculate home.It makes the cottage Gen and I live in look like a shanty.“Do you mind if I go outside?I’d like to look at the lake.”And gulp in air.
Jaeger gazes at me, his expression approving.“That’s why I picked this place.For the view.”He smiles and wipes his hands on a dishtowel, his shoulders tense.I wonder if he’s nervous too.“I’ll come get you when it’s ready.”
I walk to the edge of the yard and the familiar scent of pines fills my lungs, grounding me.I pass the workshop, curious about it—really curious—but I don’t peek inside.
A log swing with plush cushions faces the lake above the stony shore.I take a seat and tuck my legs beneath me, clenching my hands together.
Being with Jaeger is easy.I don’t have to strategize to get him to want to spend time with me.He makes it happen.I’ve never had anything I didn’t have to work for.School was easier for me than for most people, but I still put in time and energy.This thing with Jaeger is natural, and it scares the hell out of me.
I’m not sure how much time has passed when the swing moves of its own volition.I glance up, and Jaeger slides in beside me, placing his hand lightly on my ankle.We gaze at the lake together without talking.I’ve never felt this kind of calm and peace with another person.
He leans close, his chin above my shoulder, nose nuzzling the lobe of my ear.“What do you think?”
I gather he’s talking about the view and not his hand on my leg, which is very distracting.“I love it.”
He shifts and lifts me onto his lap, his arms a protective enclosure.“I want you to be happy here.”
I tense.This is so much.He’s so much.I have nothing to offer.
His brow furrows as though he senses my thoughts.He kisses my cheek and then my mouth, his hands running up and down my arms in a soothing manner.I lean into him, my body going slack.Tingles spread from my core as he deepens the kiss.I wrap my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his short, soft hair.
Jaeger breaks the kiss first, but he doesn’t pull away, he holds me close.His pulse pounds against my lips at his throat.“We’d better go in or I’ll want to stay here for a while.Our lunch will go bad.”He lifts my chin and pecks my lips.“To be continued,” he says with a knowing look, and leads me into the house, his hand wrapped around mine.
The tri-tip salad is delicious.The guy seriously knows how to cook, while I’ve been keeping the frozen meal section of the grocery store in business.We finish our food with a glass of red wine, and he gives me the tour of the house.
I’ve already seen the great room, which includes the dining area, kitchen, and living room.Down the hall, the master bedroom faces the lake, while on the other end of the house sits a second bedroom and a large office that holds a couch, a pinball machine, and another massive TV.In other words, a man-cave.
The man-cave is more in line with what I expected from the home of a twenty-four-year-old.Medals and a few trophies are piled haphazardly in a glass case, along with other odd guy curios, like signed baseballs—and a pair of boxers with a woman’s lipstick mark.
“Nice boxers.”
“Oh—yeahhh… That’s from a while ago.”
