She grabs something near the door and lurches outside.
“Fuck.” I finally find my pants under the bed and throw on the rest of my clothes.
I search for Mira everywhere in the crowded house. I can’t find her. She is gone and no one has seen her.
It’s as if she never existed.
As if what happened was a dream.
Only I’ve never felt horrible after my dreams of Mira.
I tried calling Mira after she darted out of the house party. She was never home and didn’t return my calls. I proceeded to freak the fuck out.
My only option was to go to her house like a stalker. The thought crossed my mind multiple times, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but I need to talk to her.
Did I hurt her? People say sex comes naturally, but I doubt everything right now.
It’s Monday, and I’ve never been so relieved to return to school. As long as Mira doesn’t call in sick, I should be able to track her down. School isn’t the ideal location for this conversation, but I’m getting desperate.
I arrive early and wait at her locker. Fifteen minutes pass before Mira rounds the corner to the hallway.
The pressure weighing on me these last two days lifts at the sight of her. I want to grab her and press her to my chest, but then she sees me and my nerves return.
Mira walks up to her locker. Her gaze cuts briefly to me, shyly touching on my face. “Hi.”
I had a pretty good idea something was wrong after she left me in the bedroom with my pants down. Now I can’t deny it. It’s written all over her face.
Making love to Mira was my first time. I don’t feel like it went badly. Yes, she seemed nervous, but the sounds coming from her when I kissed and touched her indicated she was into it. And when we were actually…Well, she had this dazed, sexy-as-hell look on her face, like she really enjoyed that part.
And believe me, I was paying attention.
But I wanted her to feel amazing. I wanted our first time to be perfect.
“Hey,” I say gently. “I tried to call you a bunch of times. Is everything okay? Because the other night?—”
Her face softens as she looks at me, then Holly Walker steps up out of nowhere and squeezes my arm.
I look back at Mira, but her face is no longer soft and open, and she’s staring at Holly’s hand on me. If it wasn’t so rude, I’d shake off Holly’s grasp. Holly is pretty and popular, and she’s been driving hard to the hoop all year. I’m not into her at all. I made that clear, but she won’t give up.
The only girl I’ve thought about for the last year and a half is the one standing in front of me with her hands shaking as she switches out books from her locker.
“So, Mira,” Holly says. “You and Tyler?”
As far as I know, Holly has never spoken to Mira. Holly keeps to her pack of Tahoe beach club kids. Everyone was at her party Friday night; I wasn’t surprised Mira went too. But Holly approaching Mira at school is a surprise.
“Heard you walked out of a guest bedroom Friday night with just-fucked hair. Isn’t Lewis your boyfriend? Or are you hooking up with both of them? Oh shit—did you mess around behind Lewis’s back?”
Mira’s body tenses, the apples of her cheeks going rosy.
I’m momentarily too startled by Holly’s ugly suggestion to react.
One of the reasons I never acted on my attraction to Mira is because I was never sure what was going on with her and the guy she lives with. Lewis is a senior like me. Quiet, but always with Mira—when I’m not tutoring her. Mira is friends with Zach too, but Zach gets around. I don’t think Mira has anything other than friendship with Zach. It’s never been clear what she shares with Lewis.
Mira’s eyes harden as she glares at Holly. “What’s it to you?”
“Settle down, I’m just curious. The two hottest guys in school? Damn greedy if you ask me. If Tyler was only a hookup, I want to know. I have plans for him.”
Mira’s eyes dart to me.
