Who is this teenybopper? Hayden is my young, but formal, MBA boss, not this slightly flushed girl gossiping about a boy.
“I spilled toner. He was, uh, helping me?” It comes out as a question, because I’m not sure how we went from cleaning up to our mouths inhaling each other. Hayden grins suggestively, then glances at the arm I raise as proof.
She winces. “I’ve got a cardigan you can borrow.”
“Thank you.” I wipe the last of the toner off the wall and move to the door, my body gliding, half-dazed. What just happened with Tyler? And does Hayden really not care?
“Mira—” Hayden touches my arm, startling me. “I’m all for romance, but you can’t do that here.”
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
She nods decisively. “We can’t give them any reason to doubt us.” She doesn’t say whom. “I have some clout, because I’m helping the casino’s image, but I don’t want to give Blue a reason to fire me. And you shouldn’t either.”
“I promise, Hayden. What you saw was…” I can’t finish my sentence. I don’t know what just happened. Something I never thought would.
Tyler kissed me. And I felt it everywhere.
We live together, but he’s never initiated anything like that. I don’t know why he did it here, now, but I’m not complaining. Except—I can’t lose my job, or endanger Hayden’s. She’s right. We can’t step out of line at Blue. But man, I hope…
I won’t finish that thought, because whenever I hope for something, my wishes never come true. Only I’ve been dreaming of kissing Tyler ever since he returned, and that dream came true.
“Nessa,” I say as I dip a chicken tender in barbecue sauce. I just got off work and we’re in the Blue cafeteria, in the basement, eating dinner before she begins her shift. “Do you think dreams come true? Like farfetched ones?”
Nessa sprinkles salt on her french fries. “Sure. But I guess it depends on the dream. If you’re planning on flying to the moon…?”
“No, of course not. It just seems like, well, wanting something ensures it’ll never happen.”
Nessa studies me for a moment. She’s in her Blue cocktail uniform, the bustier of her sequined top pushing up her small breasts into half-moons. She has the tiniest waist and beautiful, straight black hair. I have to pull my wavy mass into a ponytail first thing in the morning, otherwise it’s a nest. “I guess sometimes that’s true, but I think it has more to do with the thing you want not being right for you. Like, even though you want it, you’re not meant to take that path, you know?”
Her words are honest, and they really suck.
My heart has always told me Tyler is right for me. But whether I’m pushing him away, or he’s pushing me away, it’s never worked out.
Then today happened.
Something changed, or maybe we’ve been moving in this direction from the very beginning. Tyler kissed me. It was new and familiar at the same time, and so honest it spoke more than any words we could have shared.
No wonder Hayden walked in on us without me noticing. The fire alarm could have gone off and it would have taken me a minute to figure out where I was. Tyler’s kiss was heat and emotion, and it drained the brain cells from my head.
“What if there was a chance to have what you thought you couldn’t? A person you always wanted to be with.”
“Um—go for it?” she says as if it’s a no-brainer. “If I could…Well, let’s just say, if I liked a guy, which I’m not saying I do, but if I did, I would jump at the opportunity to seal the deal.”
I swirl my chicken in the barbecue sauce, my cheeks growing warm at the idea of going down that path again with Tyler. “Really? What if that’s all there was?”
I’ve been there before, and it hurt so badly to watch Tyler leave town. Can I go through it again?
“Better to have loved and lost, you know? I’m pretty sure someone really smart said that.” She grins, proud of herself.
She’s right, though. I’ve dreamt of being with Tyler for what feels like my entire life, and now there may be an opening. A small one, because he seemed as surprised by the kiss as I was. But if he’s having second thoughts about me, about us trying again…I’d like to give it a chance.
Who am I kidding? I totally want him. There’s no question.
“You’ve changed,” Nessa says, her expression serious.
“What do you mean?” Are my emotions showing on my face? Or worse, has the kiss gotten around? I haven’t noticed a grapevine, but I’m new. People talk.
She tilts her head. “You seem happier.”
