“Ahhh,” Cali says, admiring her boyfriend’s ass as he lunges up the rocks. “So, so hot. You think he’ll do it again in a half hour?” she whispers to Gen.
“Cali,” Gen says, admonishing, humor in her voice.
Jaeger is tall and muscular. After being around another tall, athletic guy, I see the appeal.
I steal a glance at Tyler, his light golden chest and smooth skin catching my eye immediately. He’s confounding me lately with his supportive side. I can’t figure out why he’s been so nice ever since I imploded on him after my first day of work. He’s reminding me of the Tyler I used to know.
Tyler is sitting next to Lewis, cringing at his sister’s blatant ass-ogling. Jaeger and Tyler are good friends. So yeah, it must be awkward.
“What?” Cali says to Gen. “His ass is the most perfect thing in creation. God put his stamp on that backside. We’re supposed to admire it.”
“Anyway.” Gen rolls her eyes again and looks at me. “How are things going at the casino?”
Cali continues watching her boyfriend until he disappears from sight.
“Things are okay,” I say hesitantly.
I am grateful for my job at Blue. I’m making more money than I thought possible when I decided to find a better-paying job. Drake is basically gone while he awaits trial, so I don’t worry about him. But something doesn’t feel right at the casino, and I can’t put my finger on it.
Gen leans forward. “No one’s been mean, have they? I forgot you’d be on a different schedule than Nessa and Zach.”
I glance at Nessa. She arrived a minute or two ago, but she’s still holding her beach bag, and Zach has her in a bear hug, her feet dangling above the ground. She’s laughing hysterically as he rattles her up and down like a salt shaker.
“No, it’s fine.” Which is the truth. Guys ogling me while women talk crap is pretty much what I’m used to. Different setting, same situation.
I’ve given up trying to figure out why I cause that reaction in people. I’ve talked to my therapist about it, and she thinks I’m somehow allowing my deepest fears to shine through. It’s that circular thing. I’m worried about being abandoned, so I push people away. Sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously. It’s not the case with everyone, but I get this reaction often enough that I’m convinced my therapist is on to something.
Jaeger returns to the dock and Cali smiles brightly. He walks over with a pitcher of Bullfrog, a lime and vodka drink they all seem to love, and tops off our plastic tumblers. I have to agree—the Bullfrog is pretty fantastic on an Indian summer day. We get a few of these in the fall, but pretty soon it will be too cold for shorts, let alone bathing suits.
Jaeger leans down and kisses the top of Cali’s head. “I know what you’re up to, and I like it.” He nuzzles her neck, and she squeals. “I’ll be your errand boy all day long if you give me looks like that.”
I thought I wanted to gag at the loving looks Gen and Lewis shoot each other, but these two are way worse.
And I am so jealous.
Tyler
I’m trying to not stare at Mira’s body in a bikini, but it isn’t easy. I’m trying even harder not to listen in while she talks to Gen and Cali about work. I’m not going to lie. I worry about her. Which is probably obvious after I dropped everything to get a job at Blue Casino so I could keep an eye on her.
I’m telling myself this is all to keep her safe so she can move out, but I can’t help thinking I have another interest in this. I don’t want to see her get hurt.
When Mira’s mom staked out our place the other day, waiting for her until we returned from shopping, I went inside to give them space. There’s a chance I might have overheard their conversation through a window I cracked open while they spoke in the backyard. I’m not happy about what I heard. When her mother called her names and accused her of being selfish, I about flipped my lid. I wanted to rail on that woman, but I kept it together. I have to draw a line at how far I’m willing to go to protect Mira. But it was hard to stand by and not say anything.
It’s a pretty fucked-up situation. From Mira’s viewpoint, that woman is her mother. I mean, talk about getting screwed in the mom lottery. I’m lucky. I have an awesome mom. And then there’s Mira. Her mom shouldn’t have had children. But if she hadn’t, Mira wouldn’t be here…
I’ve completely lost the thread of the conversation between Lewis and Jaeg. I’m nodding, chiming in with an “mm-hmm” now and then, but not paying attention. Mira walked over to the edge of the dock a minute ago, her feet dangling in the water—and that’s my entire focus. Her shoulders are slumped slightly and she has a wistful look on her face. All I can think about is how she might be doing—and our sunset bike ride together last night. Something changed between us yesterday evening and I don’t know what.
Mira is probably the most intense girl I’ve ever met. I thought I knew her, but now I’m not sure about anything—my feelings most especially.
I saunter to where she sits, because it’s not something I can control. She’s alone, beautiful, complicated, and—shit, I don’t know why I’m so drawn to her. I just am. It’s like those forces of nature that can’t help their attraction. They glom on to each other whether they like it or not, positive and negative charge, bubbles on surface water, and that’s how it is when Mira is near. She’s the force I can’t resist.
Lately, I haven’t wanted to resist, which is seriously fucking scary. I don’t want to want her. I know her better now, and I think I was wrong and a jerk for accusing her of sleeping with multiple guys when we were in school together, but that doesn’t mean I trust her.
Despite this, I go to her, because she is a bubble on the surface, and my bubble wants to rub up and get cozy.
“Hey,” I say as I sit beside her, knees spread wide over the edge of the dock, lightly touching her leg. A guy needs space. But yeah, I just want to touch her. “Lewis have you convinced about the lake monster?”
She grins with her mouth, but the power of that smile is in her beautiful eyes, the corners crinkling as she looks out at the lake. “He tell you that story?”
