She focuses intently on me. “I don’t owe money for gambling.”
This is the most information I’ve gotten out of her. “But you do owe money?”
She nods. “Lewis has been telling me to stay away from my mom for years. If he knew, he’d freak out.”
“You’ve been giving your mom money?” Her jaw drops, and I shrug. “She wanted whatever you had pretty badly. Money’s a big motivator.”
“I helped her pay off some bad people. She told me they’d kill her if she didn’t give them the money within a week. I believed her. The dregs she hangs out with are scary, and she seemed desperate.” Her gaze wanders nervously.
“What else?”
“Then she asked for more.” Mira shakes her head. “Honestly, I don’t know how my mom pays her bills. She never works. I kept giving her money, but I started coming up short each month. One month I couldn’t pay my rent. I borrowed from a place in town. I paid the money back with my next paycheck.”
She glances down and tucks a loose strand of hair that escaped her ponytail behind her ear. “I told my mom I couldn’t help her anymore after that.”
I hold my breath, waiting for what’s to come, because my gut tells me this gets worse.
Mira looks straight at me, her expression unguarded, despite the steel she tries to exude. “I didn’t hear from her for two months. After a few weeks I started to worry. I searched for her and when I found her…She had a broken arm, a black eye…She wouldn’t talk to me. She blamed me for what had happened.”
Mira plays with the frayed edge of her jean shorts, her next breath shaky. “I didn’t know whether or not she got hurt over the money, but I couldn’t risk it again. I told her that if she needed cash, I had some saved, which I didn’t.” She looks up as if to convince me. “I had a job and no one depending on me. I thought I could handle it, but I got more behind. Eventually, I asked my mom to seek help. She’s had a cocaine problem on and off. I figured that’s where the money was going. I gave her pamphlets for places that provide support, but she wouldn’t take them. She refused to get help. I didn’t know what else to do.”
“A cocaine problem on and off,” I say, disbelieving.
Mira’s mother—the drug addict—uses Mira, and Mira is desperate for her mother’s love. Of course Mira feels she can’t say no.
I shift my jaw, attempt to tamp down my anger. I pull at the collar of my shirt and sit back, staring at the wall. I want to rail on her mom’s ass for using her daughter. Instead, I say, “Lewis told me you’re seeing a shrink.”
Her eyes grow dark. “I’m not crazy, Tyler.”
“I didn’t say you’re crazy.” And she isn’t. Mira just has too much on her shoulders. Addicts are heavy burdens. My mom worked in the casinos for decades. I’ve seen her lose friends to drug and alcohol addictions. She put the fear of God into me and Cali, warning us to never get mixed up in that.
“You can’t help your mom if she’s still using, Mira. You need someone to talk some sense into you.”
Her eyes widen, her face turning red.
Okay, that might not have come out right.
“Screw you, Tyler.”
Fuck, why do I bother trying to help her? “You already did.”
She turns away. “Will you never forget that night?”
I don’t know why I brought it up. It’s a jerk move. A part of me must still be pissed, which I don’t like to admit. “Can you?”
“No,” she says, surprising me.
Her arms loosen and she looks at me. “I know my mom is a problem. Lewis has told me for years to sever the tie. I couldn’t do it then. I still can’t imagine it. She’s the only family I have.”
“You have Lewis and his parents.”
“But they’re not real family. They don’t have to love me.”
“No. They love you because they want to.”
Mira stares at me for a long moment, as if she actually heard me. Shocking.
“I’m trying, Tyler,” she says. “I’m not giving her money anymore, no matter what happens, okay? Even if she won’t talk to me. Or if…” Her chest rises shakily on an inhale. “When those men found me in the woods, it was supposed to be my last drop-off. I was going to tell her I couldn’t do it anymore, but then…”
