Well, okay, of course it did. But if that were all, I’d have been fine to love her and leave her. No matter what I tell myself, it hurt to discover I meant nothing to her. Because at the time, she meant everything to me.
Mira is wrong. I am worried. I’ll always worry about her, no matter how many years pass.
It’s my curse.
Chapter Five
Mira
Tyler pulls up to a small cabin a few blocks off of Stateline Boulevard, near the lake. I’ve been here before with Lewis, and today, several cars line the driveway.
Great. Just what I need, an audience to witness the hell that is my life.
I cradle my ribs, unlatch the seatbelt, and reach for the door handle, battening down the cracks that running into Tyler have made in my emotional armor.
I don’t know how he found me, but seeing his pale blue eyes peering down was like being thrown a lifeline. A déjà vu of the hero from my past.
All the feelings for Tyler that I keep locked away crept to the surface. He smelled so good, and his arms around me were like coming home. I couldn’t help myself. I pressed my nose to the crook of his neck to get closer.
And he snapped at me.
He thinks I didn’t care about him in high school, and that I used him. I didn’t, but like he said, it was a long time ago, and the past has a way of shaping people.
“This is my sister’s place,” he says, and wraps his large hand around my upper arm as we make our way to the front door. “We were hanging out when Lewis got the call from his dad that you were missing. We split up to search for you. I texted Lewis that I found you and would bring you here.”
I was supposed to swing by Lewis’s parents’ house after I got off work early tonight, but I received an emergency call from my mom. She sounded frantic and asked me to meet her at the cabin with cash. She wouldn’t explain to me over the phone why she needed it, but the last time this happened, her life was in danger. I couldn’t risk it. I went to her.
I thought I could make a quick trip to my mom’s, drop off the cash, and be back in time to meet Lewis’s parents. A tad late, but not never-show-up late. Lewis’s parents would have worried when I didn’t arrive. I’ve gotten into a few scrapes over the years because of my mom. If I don’t show up after a couple of hours, John and Becky send out the search dogs.
I’ve been telling myself that this is it, no more money for my mom, but I haven’t stuck to that decision. After tonight, I can’t risk it anymore. One more scrape like the one in the woods, and…I don’t want to think about how bad things could have been.
Tyler pauses at the front door, his strong hand moving from my arm to my lower back. He’s been kind for someone who owes me nothing, and likes me even less. He turns the knob and nudges the sticky front door open with his shoulder.
Lewis is pacing the tiny living room like a restless bear. He stops as we enter.
“Mira.” He takes two long strides and embraces me in a hug that squeezes my sore ribs.
“Ouch,” I mumble into his ginormous chest.
Tyler is a tall, athletic guy, but Lewis—and Cali’s boyfriend, Jaeger, who’s a part of my audience tonight—is supersized.
Lewis looks down and gently brushes aside the hair at my temple, examining the bruise on my face, then the cut on my head and ear. His mouth compresses. “What happened? Where have you been?”
Everyone’s watching, waiting for my answer. Tyler, his sister Cali and her boyfriend, Lewis’s girlfriend Gen. I don’t want to discuss my personal life around all of them, but I have to say something. “A couple of men jumped me.”
Lewis’s eyes darken, more than they already are, turning the deep brown raven.
“Probably has something to do with—you know—that problem,” I murmur.
I hate lying to Lewis, but if he knew I owe the money because of my mom, I’m not sure what he’d do. The life my mom leads drags both of us down. Lewis has been pushing me to sever the tie with her. I don’t like the stuff my mom pulls, but she’s my mom. Lewis wants me healthy, but he’s scaring me with his conditions, driving every anxiety over abandonment I possess to the surface.
One of my worst fears is that Lewis will leave me if I can’t walk away from my mom. He’s been my family for years, but insecurities run deep. Which is why I haven’t told Lewis the real reason I owe the money.
The Sallees held an intervention and insisted I see a therapist when I told them I’d gambled away months of rent and borrowed from a loan shark. Not the most ideal of excuses, considering I work in a casino, but it was the best I could come up with at the time. I visit a therapist regularly per the Sallees’ request, but the therapist knows the real reason I’m in debt. She’s helping me with my mom issues.
The Sallees wanted me to quit my job at the casino, which is understandable, but it’s been my livelihood since I graduated. It’s all I know. I promised to work through my problems with the therapist and never gamble again. I also promised I’d stop going to my mom’s place because the people she hangs with aren’t safe.
Tyler caught me red-handed, on my way to my mom’s. Pretty soon, he’ll tell Lewis where I was, and Lewis will know I broke one of my promises.
