“I have a plan for that,” I say, looking at Maisie.
Another beat.
“Is it a good plan?” Beth sounds doubtful about my abilities.
I hesitate.
Maisie answers for me. “Normally I’d be worried about a Whitaker plan too, but it’s all about the execution. And since I’ll be in charge of that piece, we’ll be good.”
If anyone can make the miracle happen, it will be Maisie. But now I’ve got one more person to loop in. In the before times, I would have had no trouble charming Celeste. I have a feeling it won’t be so easy now, but I’m pretty sure she cares about her sister way more than she hates me. At least, I hope so.
Chapter 35
Practice, Pep Talks, & Possibilities
Luna
Thisisn’tme.Sittingin a corner, shoulders drooping in defeat. It’s just not who I am. I’m smarter than that. I’m stronger than that, and I’ve reached my quota for hiding away from the world. Now is the time to get my shit together and take action. To be the role model I’ve been claiming to be. That Luna wouldn’t accept defeat this easily.
I’ve got a hockey team to lead to victory in the championships, a social media reputation to repair, and some friends to apologize to. And just maybe I can track down our elusive donor to take responsibility. There’s still a chance I can fix this for the school. I may have been keeping to myself, but I overheard Maisie and Beth talking about the program’s plans for the summer. Maisie said they were canceling the search for a contractor to upgrade the women’s dressing rooms, and that is unacceptable.
Then there’s Beau. I don’t want to lose the fragile thing growing between us. There’s an aching void in my chest when I think about him. He’s the one who didn’t call, so maybe it wasn’tmeant to be. Something deep down itches away though. It’s calling bullshit on that thought. Because I know the guy he really is deep down. The man he’s capable of growing into.
And I know his life has been devoid of anyone who believed in him, aside from his sister. Kind of like the kids I help on the ice. They can’t thrive if they don’t have anyone to lift them up. I wouldn’t give up on them. Maybe that’s all he needs. Someone who’s not afraid to stand up for him. But first, I need to fix things with my teammates. Let them know I’m still the strong captain they can rely on.
There’s only one minor problem. My friends seem to be ghosting me. It’s almost like I’ve erased myself from their plans. The last few days have been way too quiet around here. Like scary quiet.
But I can do this. And my first step is to show up for them. And that means showing up for practice today.
Tendrils of nervous doubt crash around in my stomach in waves as I’m walking down the hall to our dressing room. My equipment bag drags on my shoulders like it’s full of dumbbells, and my mouth is so dry I can’t even swallow the sick feeling down.
The excited chatter drifting through the door lets me know I haven’t been imagining the recent quiet that’s overtaken our house.
I can’t quite pick out any specific words among the jumble as I’m pushing through the door, but silence falls as I step inside, back straight, head high. I have to keep reminding myself that I belong here. I’ve earned my spot.
It could be my imagination, but the chatter comes to a telling halt, and my teammates exchange guilty looks when they spot me. The silence lingers until Maisie jumps off the bench. She’s only got one sock pulled up, and her hair is still falling loose around her face. “Luna! About fucking time.”
I can finally breathe again, swallowed up in her enthusiastic embrace.
“Didn’t think I was going to let you steal my C this late in the year, did you?”
“The thought crossed my mind, but then I remembered that’s too much responsibility for me.”
“Do you think there’s any chance Coach is going to let this slide?”
My bestie’s laugh has the hysterical quality of an unhinged serial killer. “Absolutely not. But good luck with those sprints. After all, what’s a season without someone passing out on the ice?”
“Reassuring.”
I turn to the rest of the girls, slipping into my captain persona.
“This might be a little long, but please hang in there. First of all, I’m sorry. I let all this shit drag me down. But I’ve had some time to reflect, and I am not the person social media makes me out to be. I don’t have to be that perfect image my followers expect to see. There’s beauty in hard work and sweat and teamwork. Our success doesn’t hinge on living up to other people’s expectations. And that goes for the rest of you, too.” I pause, running a hand through my hair and glancing around at my teammates in various states of dress. Haven’t lost anyone yet. “They don’t own us, and we don’t owe them perfection. We owe them the truth. The down and dirty parts of hockey life in addition to the beautiful things. We’re allowed to sweat and struggle and even lose. It’s part of life. I know that, and you know that, and I’m going to share that with my followers. They deserve the truth too. I hope you’re still on board with me, but if not, that’s fine too. None of you asked to be in the public eye. Not in the beginning. So after today, we all get to make our own choices. But that’s where I’m at, and I’m back on the ice. I’mback with you if you’ll have me. And hopefully we can destroy the rest of this year and take it all the way.”
Cheers echo off the walls. Hooting, hollering, and cries of, fuck them. The tension in my shoulders dissolves immediately. I should have done this before. I should have let them in, but now that I’m back, I’m not going anywhere.
The laughter cuts out pretty quickly, signalling something is up. Then I hear it behind me. The distinctive scratchy tone of someone clearing their throat. I take my time swiveling around, and there she is. Coach Danvers leaning casually against the wall, one sharp eyebrow angled toward her hairline, lips pressed together in a thin line.
“Solid pep talk, Wilder. I approve, but don’t think that’s going to get you off easy today, or for the rest of the week. Get your team out on the ice, pronto.”
