Paige slaps her forehead. “Ughhh, yeah, yeah, we get it, you are the baby of the group. How can I be about to turn fifty and you are only thirty-five.”
“It’s just a number. If we asked strangers about our ages, they would assume we are all the same age,” Tilly joins in.
“Bella is mature and responsible, Paige is so beautiful she doesn’t age, and Tate’s immaturity brings the average age of the group down,” Mia adds, and everyone chuckles at her observations.
“Oh yeah, you’re hilarious, Mia. But just remember, it will be me you can thank later when I have saved you from becoming a grandmother way before you’re ready.” Tate’s words all of a sudden start sinking in around the table, and Bella gets up from her seat, walking until she’s standing in front of him.
“Tate McIntyre, what did you do?” Her hands are on her hips, and all the attention is now on him.
“What? Well, I just wanted to make sure Jack knew he could always come to me if he didn’t want to be judged by his parents. You know, safe sex and all that.” His normal cockiness is boosted with the extra alcohol in his system.
“So much for keeping it to ourselves. What did you say to him?” Bella’s shaking her head at Tate and steps to the side of him, now leaning against the railing like he is.
“I just told him I heard he had a girlfriend and I wanted him to make sure he protected both of them. Asked if he needed me to buy him some condoms and showed him the YouTube video of how to put it on a banana. Saved him the embarrassment of trying to do it for the first time in sex-ed class.”
“Tate, you didn’t.” Bella gasps, her hand clapped over her mouth.
Paige looks horrified. “Seriously, the banana demonstration went out of fashion twenty years ago, surely.”
“What did Jack say?” Mia looks worried.
“Oh, he was cool with it all. Told me he was fine and didn’t need anything,” Tate replies so off-handedly. “His cheeks were a little flushed though, so maybe I’ll just slip a new box in his room quietly, next time I’m at your place.”
“No need, he already has some,” I let slip at the same time Mia replies, “Absolutely not.”
She turns to look at me. “Why does he already have them? He is not going to be needing them for many more years to come.”
Mason clears his throat. “Umm, you might want to rethink that, Mia. When I spoke to him today, it’s pretty obvious he has it bad for this Charlotte girl. When I asked him how far he sees this going, I think that box might come in handy.” He smiles calmly at Mia, trying to placate her, but it’s not helping.
“You too?” Annoyance from her eyes is now directed at Mason who is like a brother to her.
I can’t help it, and I start laughing hard.
“Who else decided they need to give Jack somefriendly advicetoday?” She looks around as everyone raises their hand except Bella.
“At least Bella did as she was asked.” Mia gives her a smile of thanks.
“Oh, it’s only because Millie was whiney this afternoon and I just didn’t get a chance.” Bella shrugs, and that just brings me to a point I have tears rolling down my face as I’m cackling.
“So much for boundaries in this framily. You do realize we have probably scarred this kid for life,” Mia grumbles.
“I wouldn’t worry too much about Jack,” Gray says. “I think he has the whole sex-ed thing under control. There’s this thing called the internet, Mommy, and your boy has already seen porn, so we had the chat about that. He is all over the consensual sex concept and respecting women. I also explained how most of that is staged, so not to panic when he totally loses his load before he even gets out of the starting gate the first time, and he reassured me that didn’t happen.” Gray reveals way more than Jack’s mother needs to hear.
“No!” she shrieks. “Don’t tell me any more. Wait, what do you mean itdidn’t happen. Has Jack already had sex? Oh God, I can’t breathe.” Mia looks at me with sheer panic on her face.
Pulling myself together, I shuffle sideways on the seat, getting closer to her and dragging her into my lap.
“Oh, sorry, I meant he tried to reassure me itwouldn’thappen when the time comes.” Gray thinks he’s funny.
“I hate you.” Mia throws one of the cushions at him.
“Okay, okay, all jokes aside. It sounds like Jack has had his fair share of advice today. And all I can say is thank you, and just remember, karma’s a bitch. Wait until your kids are this age. Mia and I will be first in line and so eager to help all your children too.” I try to move the conversation past poor Jack, who it sounds like has had the afternoon from hell with way too much family in his face.
“Yeah, just you wait.” Mia waves her finger in the air at all of them. “Now I need another drink, a strong one.”
And no sooner have the words left Mia’s lips, the steward who is looking after the upper deck bar is beside us and taking our orders.
“Do you think Jack is okay?” Mia whispers in my ear.
