I shook my head, tears threatening once more. “I… I never got them.”
Cole’s face fell, realization dawning in his eyes. “It… It’s alright,” he said at last, patting me on the back. “No reason gettin’ bent out of shape about it now. We can’t change the past.”
“Do you know what they said?” I asked. “The letters.”
Cole shook his head. “I don’t know. He never let me read them. Just saw him writing them sometimes. He’d get this look on his face...” He trailed off, staring up at the stars. “I found them after he died. A whole stack of them, returned to sender. I should’ve kept them for you, but I was angry…so angry. I burned them with some of his other papers.”
The admission hit me like a physical blow. Letters my stepfather had written to me, words I’d never get to read, gone forever. I gripped the railing to steady myself.
“Jesus, Cole.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, and I could tell he meant it. “I didn’t think you’d care. I thought you’d…forgottenall about us.”
“I never forgot,” I admitted softly. “I tried, but I couldn’t.”
The confession hung between us in the cold night air. Inside, I could hear people counting down to midnight, their voices carrying through the walls.
“Ten! Nine! Eight!”
Cole turned to face me fully, his eyes reflecting the starlight. “Jesse, I?—”
“Seven! Six! Five!”
“What?” I asked, my heart suddenly pounding in my chest.
“Four! Three!”
He stepped closer, his hand finding my waist. “I’m glad you came back.”
“Two! One!”
“Even though I’m a pain in your ass?” I whispered.
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
“Especially because of that,” Cole murmured, and then his lips were on mine.
The kiss was gentler than our usual encounters, almost hesitant, like he was afraid someone might see us. But out here in the darkness, with only the stars as witnesses, I didn’t care. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as cheers and noisemakers erupted from inside.
When we finally broke apart, I kept my arms around him, not ready to let go. “This is more than I ever thought I’d get. More than I imagined was possible.”
Cole’s hand cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing away a tear I hadn’t realized I’d shed.
“I’m falling for you, Cole,” I admitted, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. My heart hammered against my ribs as I watched his expression change, those blue eyes widening slightly. “I know I told you it was just sex, that it was no big deal but... this is all I’ve ever wanted. Even back then, before I left.”
Cole’s hands tightened on my waist, his forehead coming to rest against mine as a small, disbelieving laugh escaped him. “You always did have terrible timing, Jesse Harris.”
“Is that a bad thing?” I asked, suddenly unsure.
He shook his head, his nose brushing against mine. “No. Just... unexpected.”
The party continued inside, oblivious to the moment unfolding on the dark deck. Moonlight silvered the snow around us, and our breath mingled in the space between our lips. For once in my life, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
“We should go back inside,” Cole said reluctantly. “Before someone comes looking for us.”
I nodded, though I made no move to release him. “One more minute.”
His smile was soft in the darkness as he pressed another quick kiss to my lips. “One more.”
