“It’s safer that way,” I admitted.
Jesse’s hand moved to my jaw, gently turning my face back toward him. “Safer, maybe. But lonely as hell.”
I couldn’t argue with that. The ranch had been my entire life for fifteen years. I’d thrown myself into the work, into being the man my father wanted me to be, into survival. But connection? Real human connection? I’d pushed that away at every turn.
“I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered, my eyes meeting his. “I don’t know how to let someone in. I’m not even sure I want to.”
“Yes, you do,” Jesse insisted. “You’re doing it right now. Talking to me. Being honest about how you feel. That’s the first step.”
His thumb brushed across my lower lip, the touch so tender it made my chest ache.
“I’m not going anywhere, Cole,” he said, his voice steady and sure. “Not unless you tell me to leave. And even then, I might just be stubborn enough to stay anyway.”
Despite everything, I felt the corner of my mouth twitch upward. “You always were a pain in the ass.”
Jesse grinned, and for a moment, I caught a glimpse of the boy he’d been before everything went wrong. “Some things never change.”
The shower continued to rain down on us, creating a private world where nothing existed but the two of us. I felt something unraveling inside me, years of tension and fear slowly loosening their grip.
“I don’t know what happens next,” I admitted, my hands moving to rest on his hips. “I don’t know what this makes us.”
“We don’t have to figure it all out right now,” Jesse said, leaning in until his lips were inches from mine. “We’ve got time.”
Time. The concept seemed foreign after years of living day to day, just trying to keep the ranch afloat. But he was right. We had time now. The ranch was doing better than it had in years. And Jesse was here, solid and real under my hands.
“Okay,” I whispered, the word feeling foreign on my lips. “But please don’t… don’t tell anyone, okay?”
Jesse’s smile faded slightly, his eyes searching mine. “Is that what you’re still worried about? What people will think?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “Hell Creek isn’t Seattle, Jesse. People talk. And they’re not all as understanding as you might hope.”
He nodded slowly, his hands sliding up my chest to rest on my shoulders. “I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.” Waterran down his face, making him look younger, more vulnerable. “So what are we then? Secret lovers? Friends with benefits?Stepbrotherswith a complicated relationship?”
I winced at the last one. “Can we not use that word? Stepbrothers. It just... it makes this feel worse somehow.”
“Okay,” Jesse agreed, his thumbs tracing small circles on my skin. “No labels then. We’re just... us. Cole and Jesse. Whatever that means.”
Relief flooded through me at his understanding. I hadn’t expected him to give in so easily. The Jesse I remembered would have pushed and prodded, demanding definitions and clarity. He’d grown up a lot more than I thought.
“Thank you,” I whispered, resting my forehead against his.
“Don’t thank me yet,” he murmured, a hint of his usual mischief returning to his eyes. “I’m still going to make you work for it. Just because we’re keeping things private doesn’t mean I’m going to make it easy for you.”
I couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped me. “Wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
His lips curved into a smile as he reached behind me to shut off the water. “Come on. We should probably clean up the office before Evelyn gets back.”
Reality crashed back as I remembered what we’d done downstairs. “Shit. The desk.”
“And the floor,” Jesse added with a grin. “And possibly the wall.”
I groaned, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around my waist. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“A little,” he admitted, toweling off his hair. “The great Cole Nelson, finally losing control. It’s kind of hot, actually.”
I felt my cheeks heat up, and not from the steam of the shower. “Shut up.”
Jesse laughed, the sound light and genuine. “Make me.”
