A reward: the truffle of a smile on Kodiak’s face. “I will take some of your finest sans serif water, please. And that manicotti. I have been thinking for weeks about that manicotti. I want to marry that manicotti.”
He stands right over me while I prepare the meals, like the too-early guest at a party. Every time I need to set a dial or open a drawer, he’s in the way. I wish I did have a beer to offer so we could both take the edge off.
“So. Kodiak Celius,” I say while I hand him his water pouch. “Tell me something about your life. Something I don’t know. Which is, um, basically everything.”
“There is nothing to say.”
“That is literally the opposite of true. Start with your parents.”
“I have nothing to say about them,” he says, sleeves riding up his arms as he stretches them out awkwardly.
“What kind of name is ‘Celius,’ for starters?”
“There are three of us named ‘Celius’ in the Dimokratía space program. We are all named for the province of our orphanage. That is why I have nothing to say about my parents. I have never known them. Perhaps they still exist, or perhaps they don’t.”
“Who raised you, then?”
He presses his teeth against his lip. It again blanches, then blossoms red. I’m as transfixed as the first time I saw it. “No one. I was in institutions. I raised myself. It was fine.”
It was fine.I’ve heard enough about those Dimokratía institutions to know that’s hardly possible. I press my back against the food heater. Room 04 feels so tiny. There’s hardly space for two people to remain two separate people in here. “I believe you when you tell me you’re fine,” I say carefully. “You seem strong-willed. Butsomeonecared for you. No child can survive solitude.”
“There were nurses who were gentle during our training. The best of us got rewards early... commendations and gains in the rankings. That was a sort of approval, I suppose.” He swallows the last half of the word, his face flushing. “We were trained early to be—”
“—self-sufficient, I know. I just think that self-sufficiency isn’t really possible. Not for humans. I mean, I guess a turtle could manage it. Or an AI. Or maybe my sister.”
Kodiak doesn’t move, just stares at the tops of his bare feet. “That was a joke,” I mumble. “The sister part.”
Suddenly his eyes are fixed on mine. The pouch of water, forgotten, jostles in his hand. Blood rises hot to my cheeks. The water in the pouch flows back and forth, back and forth, firmly in his grip.
I ramble. “I guess I’m just saying thanks for coming over. I’m glad I don’t have to pretend I’m self-sufficient tonight.”
“I am excited about this old mummy reel,” Kodiak says huskily, tugging on his fingers. “Dimokratía did not send me with any entertainment on board, except for some classic Dimokratía literature. Abridged.”
“Really? That’s too bad. I don’t know what I’d have done without my old reels to watch.”
Kodiak shrugs. “I work out.”
I roll my eyes. “I noticed.”
“I noticed you noticing,” he says, his eyes suddenly back on mine.
I can’t help raising my fingers to my mouth.
He shrugs. “I do not mind. It is nice to be noticed.”
“Awesome. Okay. Well, um, happy to oblige.”
“I do ask myself sometimes, who am I working out for? I will return a hero, if I return. But that is very far away. I could let myself go to fat first, then worry about my health only for the last part of the journey. Maybe some padding will help absorb radiation and make me survive.”
“For the mission, Kodiak. You keep in shape for the mission.”
This conversation is getting decidedly weird. I’m not sure what to do with a Kodiak who actually speaks to me. I take his manicotti pouch out and shake it. It scalds the pads of my hand, but I keep it in my grip. “With the number of calories you must burn, you’d have to eat quite a few of these to put any real weight on.”
“Yes, that is true,” he says, getting into his pouch a little easier this time around. He savors his first mouthful. “This is tasty even by Earth standards. I would order this food in a restaurant. Really I would.”
“That makes me pretty concerned about yourAuroradining options.”
“Someday I will invite you to my half of the ship for gruel and you will know how well you have it here.”
