DARCY SHOULDN’T HAVElet her fall asleep in his arms, and he shouldn’t have lingered with her there, sleeping against him, for as long as he did. It was wrong, and he knew it. It was one of those things, the things that are very pleasant which have few consequences but which are simply wrong nonetheless.
No one knew how long he cradled his cousin’s wife in his arms that night, how long he gazed into her pretty sleeping face or how often he brushed her hair away from her face. No one knew, and there could be no consequences if no one knew.
But it was wrong.
She was not his.
He should never have gotten onto that bed with her, never have held her in his arms.
He tossed and turned in his bed that night with the guilt of it, after he finally left her. He left her, tucking a blanket over her body, knowing she would likely appreciate having her stays loosened at the least, and also knowing it would be very wrong for him to do that for her. He left her, turning down the oil lamp by her bed. He left her and went back to his own room andundressed himself and got into bed. And then he could hardly sleep because of the guilt of it.
In the morning, when he went down to breakfast, she was there, and he didn’t even know how to look at her.
Georgiana was there, no longer glum about the duke’s absence, but now resigned to the way of it. “He was never as interested in me as I thought he was, clearly,” Georgiana was saying as she sipped at her chocolate that morning. “I must have believed it because I wanted to believe it. The Duke of Neithern is not coming back, that is the truth of it.”
He didn’t say anything. He was too busy not looking at Elizabeth.
Who was somehow there, and he hadn’t realized because he was trying not to see her.
“I think the duke may be going through something personal and distressing that has little to do with you,” said Elizabeth in a gentle voice.
Darcy looked at her, felt a shudder of self-loathing at his own weakness, and immediately looked away.
“Miss Elizabeth,” said Georgiana in astonishment. “How lovely to speaktoyou instead of hearingaboutyou.”
“Yes, perhaps you and I have not spent much time together beyond being introduced,” said Elizabeth.
“Please, sit down,” said Georgiana.
Elizabeth was carrying a plate of food she had served for herself from the sideboard, where breakfast was laid out. She settled down at a place setting across from Georgiana.
Mr. Darcy’s heart was pounding out a beat of guilt against his rib cage. He sighed. He did not look up. If she was looking at him, he did not know.
“You have some intimate knowledge of His Grace’s affairs, then?” said Georgiana, sipping at her chocolate.
Elizabeth poured herself some chocolate from the chocolate pot. “Well, I don’t wish to speak out of turn, but I think I may have some idea what it is he might be going through right now, and I wish to say that, if he seemed to favor you, do not discount that yet. I think, when he has gathered himself, he may be in better spirits.”
“I’m so very intrigued,” said Georgiana. “How is that you come to know the duke?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Oh, I have likely said too much, I am sure.”
“Yes, yes, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, shrouded in secrets,” said Georgiana, laughing.
“I am not this at all,” said Elizabeth, but she was laughing, too. “Why would you say such a thing?”
“Apparently, you are secretly married to my cousin, for one thing,” said Georgiana. “For another thing, I am certain that my brother and my cousin were whispering about you on half our walks in the park at London.”
“Georgiana,” Mr. Darcy objected faintly.
“And also, I have observed your effect on positively everyone,” said Georgiana.
“What effect is that?” said Elizabeth, amused.
“You seem to drive people mad,” said Georgiana.
“Georgiana, heavens,” said Mr. Darcy, lifting his gaze to look at Elizabeth. But she still seemed amused.
“Do I, indeed?” Elizabeth shook her head, lifting her cup of chocolate. “The truth is, I’m afraid, Miss Darcy, the world has seemed rather mad to me, as of late. If reality itself is insane, can a body existing in it remain sane?”
