I had bills that needed paying, and food was something that had always been scarce.Even back in the group home, there was only ever enough for each of us to have a small serving of whatever was being offered.Most days, that meant a few ounces of whatever meat was on offer, a grain, a vegetable, and some type of fruit option to meet state guidelines.Nutritious, in theory, but the portion sizes rarely fulfilled the hunger that always seemed to linger.
Stopping for a red light, Kane grasped my wrist, pulling my hand up to his mouth so he could kiss it.He did it so casually, as if it were as natural to him as breathing.It was an intimate moment, yet not once had it ever felt awkward.Kane touched me like I was meant to be his, and my body lit up every time in agreement.It was my mind that was conflicted.I wanted him, wanted everything, every experience, every life goal to be with him.
And I wanted to experience it all with Ryder too.
Wanting, being with—loving—two men at the same time wasn’t right.Very few people would understand that kind of relationship.Hell, I wasn’t even sure I understood it.
“You’re beautiful, you know that?”he said as he sat there with his head tilted toward me, his eyes scanning me as he kept my hand pressed to his mouth.
“Are you blind?”I snorted a laugh.Without looking in a mirror, I still knew what a mess I was.Limp flyaways had fallen from my ponytail.Stains on my shirt and jeans.Blotchy face from being in the hot diner all day.And then there was the smell.Fried foods, onions, and countless other scents had been absorbed by my clothes and soaked into my pores.
“I have perfect vision,mo réiltín.And right now, I’m looking at the most beautiful woman I’ve ever set eyes on.”He turned his gaze back out the window, driving through the intersection and then making a lane change that would take us to my street.
Driving time in this city was a game of chance.Walking and taking the bus were more convenient because the hassle of finding a parking spot that wasn’t blocks away was its own kind of nightmare.Yet Kane and Ryder never seemed to have issues when they drove to visit me.
Fifteen minutes later, we were inside my apartment.Once all the groceries were unpacked, I excused myself to take a shower, mostly to give myself a moment to collect my thoughts.He hadn’t just brought the ingredients for his favorite comfort food dinner.He’d carried in at least thirty plastic bags, all of them containing basic pantry staples, along with many of my favorite snacks.
Kane Brennan was trying to take care of me.Stocking my fridge, cooking for me, watching over me by driving me home after working a double so I didn’t have to walk on aching feet.I would be lying if I said I hated it.Taking care of myself was something I’d done all my life.Ryder had started doing it in little ways when we met, mostly because I wouldn’t let him do more, but Kane wasn’t subtle about it.Where Ryder would anticipate certain things and fill the gaps where I allowed it, Kane simply made it happen and made no apologies about it.
While I was independent and happy to take care of myself, it was almost a relief to have someone step up and take charge.Kane did it so smoothly, without drawing attention to the actions, leaving no room for me to feel small or humiliated.I’d had a few more days’ worth of meals in my kitchen, mostly oatmeal and ramen, but I wouldn’t have starved.
Now, my fridge was stocked with fresh fruits, vegetables, and deli meats.I had a freezer packed with not one but six pints of my favorite ice cream.There was bread, butter, milk, jam, even those little snack packs of trail mix that fueled me between classes and study sessions or on my walk to work.
Tears stung my eyes.Some people would have made it feel like a handout, like they were doing something for me that they expected to be repaid at a later date.Or that they could use against me in some way in the future.Ryder would never do such a thing, but he also wouldn’t have stocked my kitchen so thoroughly.He would have brought me a few bags at a time, under the guise of wanting me to cook for him, and snuck in a few extras.
Hair still wet, I walked out of my bedroom into the living room where Kane was setting out plates of food on my coffee table.He’d gotten comfortable while he cooked.His suit jacket was gone, the sleeves of his tailored button-down rolled up his forearms.
Biting my lip, I watched him move around my space like he belonged there.
Hearing me, he straightened, turning his head to give me a smile that quickly turned into something more.His brown eyes traveled over me from head to toe, taking in the old T-shirt I’d stolen from Ryder when he’d still lived at the group home.It was soft and mostly swallowed me, falling off one shoulder, while the hem hit mid-thigh.I hadn’t bothered with a bra, but when his gaze paused on my chest and my nipples instantly pebbled, I wished I had.
Heat filled my cheeks, but Kane didn’t linger long enough to make it awkward.His gaze moved lower, as if he were mapping my body, even though it was hidden beneath the soft cotton.Reaching my legs, he sucked in a harsh breath, his hands clenching and unclenching for a long moment.
“I keep thinking there’s no way you could get more beautiful.Yet every time I look at you, I realize that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever told myself.”
I tugged at the hem of the shirt self-consciously.My eyes worked just fine, so I knew I was pretty.Ryder had been telling me I was gorgeous for years, and it always made my heart melty.But when Kane told me I was beautiful, I could hear the reverence in his voice.
It always went to my head, making me shy…and wet.
Kane crossed to me, taking one of my hands and pulling me close.His other hand tipped my chin back, so I had to look up at him.Jaw clenched, he traced his thumb over my bottom lip, his eyes bouncing back and forth over my face, watching for any sign that I didn’t want this.His touch.His nearness.His scent filling my senses.His head dipping lower.His breath on my cheek and lips.His mouth pressing to mine, tasting, molding, owning.
Groaning, he cupped the back of my head, deepening the kiss.Fire rushed through me, starting in my core and blooming outward, leaving me feeling like a human flame.I kissed him back, letting him set the pace.
I’d never tried drugs before, but I wondered if this was what Ecstasy felt like.Every inch of my body was ultrasensitive, hyperaware of each brush of his body against mine.His hand tangling in my hair, how his scruff scratched my face, the way his teeth grazed over my bottom lip as the kiss turned hungrier.
It was too much, too good, but nowhere close to enough.I didn’t know kissing could feel this good.
With a tortured sound, Kane lifted his head.Breathing hard, he pressed his forehead to mine.“Food.You need to eat,mo réiltín.And then…”
“And then…?”I repeated, shy—hopeful.
“Whatever you want, Vega.”
Ryder
Amadea pushed herself against me, her arms clinging to one of mine, while beaming for another flashing camera.My skin crawled from her touch, the sight of her tits practically spilling out of the top of her dress causing nausea to churn, lifting bile into the back of my throat.
It was crazy how I could torture men for hours, cut them open, play with their organs, while listening to them scream and beg for mercy.without feeling sick.But just looking at this woman who was supposed to one day be my wife, whom my deadbeat father expected me to reproduce with to carry on the O’Machain line, made me want to puke my guts out.
