Me: You’ve heard more than just about my wedding.
Unknown: Don’t act so surprised.I have eyes and ears everywhere.
Unknown: But seriously, don’t reach out to either of them again.Not even I can save you if you piss off the wrong person.
Unknown: Focus on getting that ring off your finger, and then maybe—big maybe—I’ll rethink that favor.Until then, that star of yours will shine bright from afar just fine.
Unknown: Ta-ta.
With an angry rumble that shut up the other men behind me, I grasped the first thing I touched.A bottle of the whisky Cullum drank like water.Ryder didn’t move, didn’t so much as flinch, as I threw it into the fire.Glass shattered, the alcohol shooting the flames up like a pyre.Tension bled into the room.
Fuck it all.
Nothing mattered anymore.Not one goddamn thing, except Vega.
Chest heaving, I almost chucked my phone into the blaze when it went off again.I couldn’t deal with more of her bullshit.Every message had hit me dead center in one way or another.Outwardly, I was a seething beast, while internally, I couldn’t catch my goddamn breath.
Frustrated, I glanced down at the device in my hand.
An unknown number, but not one I recognized this time.I read the text, then read it again before shooting a glance at Ryder.Teeth grinding together, I sent a reply and then deleted both message threads.
Vega
“How are you feeling today?”
“There is a bowling ball bouncing on my bladder, kicking me in the kidneys, and keeping me up all night with heartburn so bad I think I’ll forever have scar tissue after this kid is out of me.How do you think I feel?”
Glancing at the woman who was thirty-nine weeks pregnant with her third baby, I could almost feel her misery.She was obviously uncomfortable, with her swollen feet and a belly that was expanded to the point that her belly button was protruding.Her hair was twisted into a messy bun on top of her head, and she appeared to be wearing her husband’s sweatshirt and matching joggers.
I’d seen her lifting the shirt a few times to smell it, breathing deeply.A quick sniff when she’d passed me had confirmed it smelled like the man’s cologne, from what I remembered of their visit the previous week.He wasn’t present for this appointment, but he brought her comfort, even absent.From what little I’d interacted with the patient and her significant other in the last month, I’d witnessed how supportive the man was of his wife.
Seeing many of my patients with their partners had been a regular stab to my heart since I’d started working at the women’s center.Many of them were pregnant, and they appeared to have amazing support systems.Each time a man helped his woman to her feet, put a hand on her swollen belly, or simply looked at her with complete adoration on his face, I felt a pang of longing.
But those were normally short-lived, because with each supportive spouse came twice as many couples who couldn’t care less.And if I were honest with myself, knowing what I knew at this point, I didn’t know which category Kane and Ryder would fall into if they were with me at my own prenatal appointments.
Every time I took a moment to consider it, my heart broke a little more.Maybe they would have been mad that I’d gotten pregnant and would have asked me to have an abortion.After all, I’d unknowingly been their mistress.They had entire futures planned with their fiancées.More than likely, they only wanted kids with their wives.
Or maybe they would have called off their engagements and committed to me.They might have attended every appointment with me, asked a thousand questions of the doctor, treated me like I was fragile and precious.Maybe they would have put their hands on my barely there bump and talked directly to our baby.
Sadly, foolishly, I’d thought they were already committed to me and us.
Mentally shaking away all the maybes, I gave my patient a sympathetic smile.At first glance, her belly had definitely grown since I’d seen her the previous Friday, but it was also sitting lower.It was a safe bet that she wouldn’t make it past the weekend without delivering.
“You’re almost there, mama,” I told her encouragingly as I helped her up onto the exam table.“Other than being miserable twenty-four seven, is there anything Doc should be aware of?”
“A few mild cramps since yesterday.I wouldn’t call them contractions, though.More like a spasm in my lower back that moves around to my right side.Pain scale?”She lifted one shoulder.“I would rate it at a four.”
I made a quick note in her chart and then started on her vitals.By the time I was done, our lab tech had already posted her urinalysis.After a check of the fetal heartbeat, I did a pelvic exam to check her cervix.She was dilated to three, but that didn’t mean much, given her history.This patient had gone from zero to pushing in under two hours with her second baby.
With all the other signs, I was sure Doc was going to walk in and tell her to go straight to the birthing center, which was part of the women’s center.Other than not having an emergency room, the medical center was a full-scale hospital that catered to women only.There was a trauma-equipped hospital a few miles from the women’s center.
Each wing of the plaza was for a different specialty, like the medical imaging unit for mammograms and other diagnostic testing.There was an oncology wing, primarily for breast, ovarian, and cervical cancer, that housed a separate section for chemotherapy treatment.Then there was the OB-GYN that I worked for, with the birthing center right next door.We even had a surgical floor, the teams ready to go at a moment’s notice, twenty-four seven.
One of the certifications I’d gotten over the years was in midwifery.Something I’d been incredibly proud of, yet had never used because Ryder had steered me toward the paths he’d wanted me to take.He and Kane probably didn’t even remember that my passion had been in women’s health, which had worked out perfectly when I’d needed to start over.
This new job wasn’t as fast-paced as my previous one, but I loved what I was doing so much more.Also, I wasn’t as stressed, hadn’t been assaulted by a patient a single time in the weeks since I started, and I only worked eight to five Monday through Friday.On top of the lighter workload, I was also making double the money because it was privately funded and not a state-run facility.
Once I’d made the choice to leave, I’d thought I would miss my old life.So far, I’d found very little that I missed.Except my men.I ached for them, but with each passing day, I realized more and more how little a part of their lives I’d actually been.Even though I fell asleep every night crying, I was accepting that the future I’d always envisioned with Ryder and Kane had been an impossible dream.
