They’d be relieved for the wake, so they got to attend in some respect. There were also three men travelling with Itchy’s family’s vehicle.
My head ached from all the plans, plus I wasn’t focused, my mind elsewhere, the old lady’s house, to be precise. I’d at least managed five minutes to run to my room and wash up. Last thing I needed was anyone smelling pussy on me and putting two and two together. Turned out King wasn’t here, he had other business to deal with.
We wrapped things up and Ink left to go fill in the people he had jobs for along the route tomorrow. His parting comment was he had procured some bullet-proof vests, but he’d been laughed out of the room, a knowing look on his face saying it was worth a shot, although a part of me wondered if that wasn’t a good idea, but I kept my mouth shut.
I followed War out to the bar, and we got a couple of beers from Casper. It wasn’t busy tonight. Tomorrow was going to be a huge event. My head hurt thinking about the planning of it all, not to mention there seemed to have been too many big parties here lately. I was looking forward to moving and now this matter with Reinhart had reared its ugly head.
I was hoping things would not be delayed. Something I never thought I would say, but I wanted out of the clubhouse. Before all of this, War spent a lot of time off site at Connor’s place. He was getting anxious about being trapped here too.
I didn’t see Waverley for the rest of the day. We kept busy with the plans for tomorrow. King stuck his head into the room and told War it was done. War then told me he was referring to the construction crew.
Turned out everyone was more than happy to walk away from Reinhart. They’d all agreed and were due to quit tomorrow. It would mean they were off the site for a couple of days until Cassie and Banshee got the new contracts distributed. That suited the club with the funeral plans and the large amount of people that were descending on the clubhouse tomorrow.
A few of the guys partied that night, playing a poker game, but I excused myself and went up to my room, ignoring the longing looks Tanya was giving me. I looked around the room and saw it through jaded eyes. It was my home, had been since I was nineteen years old, but it didn’t belong to me.
I had a few personal things, but nothing that wouldn’t be missed. There was a poster of a half-naked chick, spread over a bike that I’d put up when I was a kid and thought that kind of shit was sexy, but no other pictures anywhere, no framed photographs of friends or family.
Waverley’s words came back to me as I stripped walking into the bathroom.
“It’s fucking amazing that you have this house. That you have your club and your family and friends and everything you ever dreamed of is right here.”
Of all the people I’d known, Waverley was the one who knew what she wanted, where she wanted to go with her life. From what she said earlier, nothing worked out the way she wanted it to, and she could only admit that to herself after coming back home. What would that mean for the future? For when this threat was dealt with?
“Because I’m stuck here and what I had back there is fucking ruined?”
I would not lie to myself. Hearing that was like a balm to my soul. Sure, it was shit. She was sad and angry and confused over what she wanted now that her boyfriend was out of the picture.
As I stood under the spray, I thought about what I had done to her down in my house. Or what I intended to do to her, sooner rather than later, if I had my way. I didn’t know if I could convince her to stay or if I even wanted to, but things weren’t so cut anddry anymore.
DidI want her to stay? And if she did, what would that mean for a relationship? I didn’t know if there was any hope for us. We’d fucked up so spectacularly five years ago.
Or I had. My stomach clenched again at the thought of what that asshole Reinhart did to her and how I walked away and left him to do it. My fists clenched, and I had to pull myself back from punching the shower wall. Yes, she wanted to take her revenge by ruining him, but the blood lust inside of me was desperate to break free.
For as long as I could remember, the way I dealt with problems was to beat it, taunt it, or kill it. That was who I had become over the years. Waverley didn’t know me that way. Sure, there was attraction there, feelings even, but how would she feel knowing what I did for the club?
That had always been a cause of disagreement for Waverley before she left. The more we were dragged into club business, and she was shut out, the harder it was for her to relate to us. That wouldn’t change if she started something up with me. There was always the concern Waverley would never be content to sit back and be shut out of certain aspects of my life.
She was loyal to her family, but she walked away all those years ago and that was hard for me and the rest of the club to accept. If she stayed, War would back her up, but not even he could promise she wouldn’t leave again.
I finished washing up and shampooing my hair, then stepped out of the shower. I air dried as I pulled out clothes for tomorrow’s funeral proceedings. Then lit a smoke and sat looking out of the window, all the lights off in my room with just the moonlight and glow of the external lamps beyond the clubhouse, lighting up my room, casting shadows behind me.
I had a good vantage point here, could see the Old Lady’s house and down the hill to the construction site which, as always, was illuminated by floodlights as the men continued working. They were clearing everything away, knowing they were walking off site tomorrow. Tools were expensive items they wouldn’t want to lose. Not that we would ever allow anyone who might steal stuff onto the property.
There was a loud cheer from downstairs, a sound that was synonymous with my life. It would be strange being away from this place. Thequiet and solitude of the houses were likely to be one hell of a lifestyle change, not that I couldn’t come up here whenever I needed to.
A couple of women left the Old Ladies’ house and headed down to the cars parked up front. It was Cassie and Rosa, heading home for the night. I wondered if Waverley was watching them go wistfully or with jealousy that they got to leave.
She had struck up a good friendship with Cassie, and she and Rosa were always close. I thought about going over. I wasn’t sure how many people were staying there right now, but a few of the girlfriends lived there full time, so she wouldn’t be alone.
My thoughts wandered to that asshole that had been pawing all over her the day we picked her up. She didn’t say what the situation was, just that they broke up, but it only just happened, and people changed their minds, forgave indiscretions like that all the time. Would Waverley?
I wanted Waverley, no doubt, whether it was permanent or something to pass the time, or something nostalgic that I wanted to get out of my system. I didn’t know. It was inevitable whether she wanted to admit it or not.
After what we did today, I wasn’t willing to give up on getting her beneath me. It was obvious she felt the same, but she would be her usual stubborn self. I was sure after sleeping on it, she would convince herself it was a mistake. I knew her too well. But she didn’t know me anymore. I was more stubborn than she could ever be.
Things were definitely changing. Whether it was for the worse or better, I wasn’t sure.
Chapter 20
