“Although, with all the stress going on right now, and War being pulled into his officer duties, Con is getting frustrated. You’re here now, he’s got you too.”
I folded my arms around me as I stared up at him. Both thinking,for how long, but neither of us wanted to say it. The worrying thing was, right now, I wasn’t sure what my plans were. I had every intention of going back home once this was over, but what did I have to go home to?
Declan was a major part of my plans. My partner, both in business and relationship wise. How could we go back to that after what he did? As much as I loved running the bar, it wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. I had a few friends, but none that were so close I missed them, or anyone who even bothered to stay connected, even to check in.
I didn’t like this feeling, of not knowing where I belonged. My future had never been this uncertain before. It didn’t help to know Hudson had this place in his future. Yes, it was still on the compound, and he was still a part of an MC, but he had this to come home to. This was what he wanted and where he wanted to be.
I’d always thought Warren, Connor and Hudson had no ambition, no desire to do anything to make their lives better when, in reality, they had everything.
Yeah, things for Connor changed, and their relationship was a secret, but Hudson was right, they were all happy. I’d witnessed them in good and tough times in the short space I’d been here and not once had they given any sign they weren’t where they wanted to be.
“Hey,” Hudson interrupted my troubling thoughts. “You want to see the rest of the place, the other houses?” he looked about as happy to show me around as I did about seeing the rest.
I’d lost all interest. But even more annoyingly, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, or where to go. I didn’t want to go back to the clubhouse and cook for everyone. I didn’t want to go back to my room in the house where my phone and Declan waited for me. Even the thing with Andrew was in other people’s hands now.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I shook myself. “Yeah, let’s just go,” I walked around him.
Hudson grabbed my arm and stopped me. “What’s wrong? And don’t tell me nothing,” he said with a scowl. “Something just happened in there,” he indicated my head.
How was I supposed to tell him I felt like I’d made all the wrong choices? That my well thought out plan had gone to shit and after five years away. Telling myself I was doing what I wanted, with shit all to show for it. Or the boyfriend I had rubbed in his face had cheated on me last night?
“Let’s just go,” I snapped and pulled my arm from his grasp. “You didn’t even want to bring me down here, anyway.”
“Fucking typical,” he said.
“What?” I spun back on him.
“I bring you down here cos you want to see it. I showed you this place. My place. I could have pretended this was just another house here, but it’s not. It’s mine. Something I have worked for and earned for myself. But it doesn’t matter to you. Because you’ll be gone soon, and this is just another empty house in the MC you don’t give a shit about.
“You can’t even bring yourself to say anything decent about it. You came, you saw, you turn up your nose and then want to leave. You don’t even care that this place is…”
I had a lot of shit I wanted to say to him about that little outburst, but I got stuck on whatever it was he was holding back.
“This place is what?” I asked. He looked so damn angry. What the hell?
“Forget it,” he stormed past me, heading for the door.
“No,” this time I grabbed his arm. “I won’t forget it. You don’t get to say all that shit to me and not let me defend myself. I don’t think this is just another empty house. I don’t think this isn’t something amazing that you have made for yourself. I’m not turning my nose up at anything, Hudson Kelley.”
My voice grew louder.
“It’s fucking amazing that you have this house. That you have your club and your family and friends and everything you ever dreamed of is right here. Why wouldn’t I be happy for you? Becausemylife is turning to shit? Because I’m stuck here and what I had back there is fucking ruined?”
“Oh, here we go, you’re stuck here against your will. It’s so fucking tragic. Wait,” he stopped mid tirade. “What? What’s ruined?”
“Everything,” I yelled. “My job, I’m a glorified fucking bar tender. I rent my place in a fucking apartment complex, it isn’t a home. And my boyfriend…” I pressed the back of my hand over my mouth. Jesus, what am I doing? Ranting and raving at him like this. I had to get out of here.
“What about your boyfriend?”
“Nothing.”
“What did he do?”
“Nothing.”
“For fucks sake, Waverley. Stop acting like a spoilt brat.”
