All I could do was make myself scarce when he was around because if he ever attempted to speak to me, I’d punch him so goddamn hard he wouldn’t wake back up.
Yet, now, after hearing what War knew about the threat against her, I didn’t know what to do for the best. Steer clear still or hold her close and keep her safe. Should I go against King and War and tell her the truth? Or confront her about that night?
My head was a fucking mess. I needed to get it on straight. There was a war coming our way, and me getting lost in my feelings and the past would not help. I could keep her safe, but I could keep away from her while I did it. It was the only way I could get through this.
As much as I held a grudge about what happened that night, seeing her again proved one thing. I was a fucking idiot because, despite hardening myself against all women, she was still trapped inside.
She was behind the barbed wire around my heart. No matter how much time passed, she would always remain there.
Chapter 14
The next couple of days around the clubhouse were both quiet and busy, which was an odd dynamic. Brothers were coming and going, but only in groups. No one left the compound alone, and they were armed when they left.
More of the old ladies had shown up to stay at the house, some with children, started staying at the annexe. Though dad hadn’t put the club into full lock down, Rosa said that could be coming if things ramped up more and I should prepare myself.
Sightings of dad were non-existent, and I’d barely laid eyes on Warren or Hudson. I didn’t know what they were doing, but they were building up to some sort of retaliation for the explosion. I felt uneasy about the whole thing.
At the heart of these problems was the threat against me and as much as I was reassured I would be okay, I was worried. It was horrible to witness the explosion, to know that the kid had lost his life. The craziness that followed had been overwhelming. Back when I had been here full-time growing up, nothing like this had happened.
There were MC rivalries and issues with other criminals, not to mention crooked cops on my dad’s payroll, but nothing had been brought to the gate in such a catastrophic way. Not even Rosa had got anythingout of Ballistic about what was going on. I was afraid for Warren when I heard they had sped out of here to protect Hudson from what could have been an attack similar to Connor’s.
I hadn’t voiced those concerns, but I was sure Connor knew when he wrapped me up in his arms. It was times like that I could forget his injuries had changed him. He was like my old friend and confidante.
I was following through on dad’s orders and working in the kitchen. Lily and Connor were helping because, frankly, after tasting something I’d burned, they knew I’d be in trouble if I tried to feed anyone. That was my game plan, but Connor laughed and reminded me my dad wouldn’t give a shit about that. He would expect me to figure it out.
It was what King told me to do, and because I was doing it for Connor, I agreed to let him attempt to teach me. I might as well learn something while I’m here.
We were cooking up enough food to feed everyone for Kansas’ patching in. There was going to be a funeral in a few days. That involved a full ride through the town of the entire club, plus some local visiting chapters. Connor explained Dirt would coordinate security with the local police and Ink, the Road Captain, would plan a route.
I wanted to ask if I was included in that, but I kept my mouth shut. I wasn’t sure what I would have to do, but if everyone else was heading out, they couldn’t very well leave me behind. No one would want to be left out of the funeral procession to watch over me.
They couldn’t be sure the Kingsmen wouldn’t attack, but it was a risk they will take to honor Itchy, and I was relying on that to get me out of this place. Even if it were only for a little while, and for something as horrible as a funeral. That was a goddamn depressing thought.
I hadn’t met Itchy’s mom or sister, but they’d had plenty of visitors from the brothers, paying their respects.
Club life was so different from what I had been used to for the last five years. Even back when I’d lived here, it hadn’t felt like this, but I had been sheltered a lot. Plus, with Warren and Hudson not being a part of the inner circle back then, life was much more carefree.
Declan called a few times, and we had video called from my room. There was no sex involved in any of the calls. There wasn’t a lot I could tell him that wasn’t out and out lies, so the chats were a littlestilted on my part. He was busy getting ready for the tour and I could tell how excited he was.
My boss also called asking when I would be back, and I hadn’t been able to give him an answer. I barely convinced him to give another week’s grace, even though he had already agreed to two weeks’ leave. After that, he said he couldn’t be sure my job could be held open.
I’d suggested he let Ben temporarily fill in for me, reassuring him he was a good fit to cover. He didn’t like that idea but had agreed to it. Now I was worried I wouldn’t have a job to go back to.
Declan said once they had this tour under their belt, we could look at starting up our own place, but that wouldn’t happen overnight. It was a lot of start-up costs which we hadn’t even looked into yet, and he’d be busy if the tour was successful. I was feeling left out in the cold, and it was unnerving.
I’d always been a busy person. I didn’t like sitting still doing nothing, which was why I hadn’t put up much of a fight when it came to helping.
It wasn’t enough for me. In a few more days, I was going to be stir crazy, and it was going to come out in a way my dad would not like.
As the night drew in, more people started showing up and the party atmosphere intensified. It was a warm night again, so the party spilled outside. I stayed inside, keeping the food coming, but Rosa dragged me away with the lure of tequila.
It was more like the usual boisterous club party tonight, not the laid-back family style gathering from the other night. The music seemed louder, the fires bigger, and there were people everywhere. Although most of them were partying, I could see some guys dotted around who weren’t drinking, who were watching everything going on. Groups of them kept disappearing, walking the perimeter of the grounds before coming back. It wasn’t obvious if you weren’t looking for it, but my father was making sure the compound was protected.
I was happy to see Cassie and her brother, Ransom, here. He was busy chatting with a few of the club girls, getting a disapproving frown from his mother. I sat down with Cassie at a table further away from the main action, where it was a little quieter.
Cassie looked different, wearing a dress with ankle boots and her hair curled. She was wearing more make-up than I’d seen on her in her business attire. I hadn’t made as much of an effort, mostly because Ihadn’t brought dresses with me. My jeans were dark and tight, and my top cut off just below my belly button, leaving a strip of skin on show. There was no one here to impress, so I wasn’t too worried.
Lily had loaned me heeled sandals after we spent an hour with a few of the other ladies having manicures and pedicures at the house. I’d already kicked them off. It wasn’t my brightest idea walking around bare foot given the tendency for things to be smashed at these parties, but I’d be careful.
