“You were like this when we were kids,” Connor carried on as if no one threatened to throw punches. “Back and forth for years. It’s like some weird Hudson, Waverley mating ritual.”
“For fucks sake,” Hudson tipped his head up and looked at the sky.
Even in the dim light, I could see the redness around his neck. He always flushed there when he got embarrassed. That couldn’t be right though, why the hell would he be embarrassed?
“You’re quiet over there,” Connor focused his attention on me.
“I’m just enjoying the show.”
“Oh I can get down with that. Hud take off your top. Show her those muscles you’ve built up over the last few years, that ought to get her hot for you.”
“Con,” Warren shook his head and Connor looked over, realizing he was pushing it.
“Okay, we can all stay dressed but at least we should start being honest, you know, given our situation is common knowledge,” he said that last part quietly at least. “We all know you are meant to be together. You’re here, she’s here, what the fuck is the problem?”
“Leave it,” Hudson said, drinking more of his beer but his face showed how hard he was holding himself back.
“What? I’m speaking the truth. I don’t want her to leave, and you are gonna fuck it all up again and she’ll go, and we won’t see her for another fucking five years. I missed her.”
“Connor,” I said, placating. I’d noticed a few people looking over. “I won’t disappear. I promise.”
I was stunned at his outburst, but I didn’t know how deep the trauma to his brain had gone, I’d seen flashes of it, but I could see the darkness taking over his eyes the more worked up he got.
“You will because this asshole right here is going to push you away. You think I didn’t hear what you did the night she arrived?” he snapped his angry look back to Hudson. “Smokey told me all about that shit. You’re doing it all over again. Exactly what you did to her the night she left.”
“Connor, shut your fucking mouth!” Hudson growled causing Warren to get to his feet and lean across the table to put a hand onto Hudson’s shoulder.
“Don’t,” Warren said in a low voice. “If you can’t handle what he is saying then walk the fuck away. Do not push this.”
“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Hudson looked at me as he trailed off.
I’d remained silent because I was no longer a part of this dynamic and I didn’t want to say anything that would set either Connor or Hudson off more. I’d never be able to calm Hudson, he wouldn’t let me, so I figured the best way to defuse this was to distract Connor.
I got up and went around to him. Hudson and Warren watched me with wary eyes.
“Hey, Con,” I touched his arm. He was glaring at Hudson like he wanted to kill him. At my touch he jumped and turned his head. “Wanna dance?”
“Huh?”
“Come dance with me.”
He looked confused for a second, glancing about like he didn’t understand how he got here. I gave him a soft smile and pinched the sleeve of his top.
“Come on, don’t leave me hanging?”
He nodded his head, glanced at Warren. “Sure, yeah, let’s dance.”
He got up and grabbed my hand leading me to where a few people had already started a makeshift dancefloor. The blanket around my legs fell to the floor when I got up to go to him so I wore just the t-shirt with bare legs and feet but there was enough heat coming from the fire not to feel the cold.
‘Dancing On My Own’ by Robyn was playing. It wasn’t what I would expect from a party here but the guy controlling the music system was about seventeen. Also, this song was apropos with the lyrics. Connor was in his element, bouncing around on his feet, holding my arms above my head, laughing as he spun me under his arm.
The younger members of the club and their girlfriends were dancing too. It reminded me of the bar and there was a huge smile on my face.
The music merged into ‘Midnight City’ by M83, and I let the flowing rhythm take over as we danced, drifting away and back to him, our fingers always entwined. He wasn’t the greatest dancer but what he lacked in skill he made up for in enthusiasm.
On one spin I saw Warren and Hudson watching us. Warren looking amused, but Hudson was scowling and not at me, at where Connor’s hands were resting on my hips.
When ‘Seven Nation Army’ started a lot of the old timers were getting pissed off with the music choices. Connor was stomping around to the beat, and I could hardly contain my laughter watching him impersonate Mick Jagger as he marched around me.
