His jokes weren’t funny, but they were a coping mechanism. It was his way of dealing with this but it just made me sad. I decided not to focus on the issues he faced but it was hard to think of something I could say that wouldn’t give anything away.
“You look tired.”
“My best friend was hurt, because of me. I couldn’t sleep thinking about you being here.”
“It wasn’t because of you,” he argued. “I shouldn’t have let him get the drop on me,” he looked away from me.
“None of us knew, Con. They had everyone fooled. There was no way you could have known what they had planned.”
“Still, I wasn’t there when you needed me.”
“Well, we’re here now, together and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” He looked like he didn’t believe me. I slipped my fingers from his and twisted my thumb behind his. “Swear it.”
He closed his eyes and for a second looked like he was struggling but he wiped it away as fast as it came on and laughed. “Hudson have anything to do with that?”
“I’m sure he’d like to think so,” I gave him a one shoulder shrug, but I laughed too. “Things have kind of changed between us.”
“Yeah,” he shifted a little and winced.
“Are you okay?” I half lifted off the seat, but he waved me away. I waited until the pain wasn’t creasing his face quite so noticeably. “Yeah, hesubmitted.”
“Don’t make me laugh too much,” he chuckled with another wince. “It hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” I cringed.
After a moment he turned to me. “So he told you he loves you?” I nodded, felt the heat rising in my cheeks and wasn’t sure why. “Good, cos he would fucking hate to admit it but the asshole never stopped. Despite all the women he fucked, you were always the one.”
I cringed a little at the way he said it, so blasé, like it didn’t mean anything. He didn’t even seem to notice his comment hurt a little. I didn’t want to think about Hudson with anyone. I’d already had the pleasure of seeing him with two other women, never mind know aboutall the womenhe’s allegedly fucked.
“Who knows, maybe I’ll even be around for the wedding.”
“Who says you’ll be invited?” I glared at him, letting him know I didn’t appreciate the shit he kept saying.
“Come on, Curtsey, it wouldn’t be a party without me.”
“Well, I might just have to deal with that if you don’t stop putting yourself down. You’re fine Con, you got through it. It isn’t fair what you’ve been through but you’re strong. Nothing can keep you down.”
“Yeah, I know. Superman, that’s me.”
He wasn’t going to stop, and I didn’t want to push him. “Warren is getting us coffee. He’ll be next in. Hudson can wait.”
Connor’s face darkened slightly, and he turned his head away.
“They didn’t mean to keep anything from you,” I said not wanting him to blame them for anything.
“Yeah, sure. I know. I’m happy you came but I’m really tired.”
“Oh,” I sat back a little. “Connor, I didn’t mean to say anything to upset you.”
“I’m not upset, I’m tired. Everyone means well but Jolene and Smokey don’t know when to shut up, they talk the leg off me and sometimes, I just need to sleep, you know.”
“You want me to go, what about the others?”
He closed his eyes. “I’m not exactly going anywhere.”
“Alright.” I stood and leaned over the bed, placing a soft kiss to his cheek. His eyes opened as I pulled back and he gave me a heart-breaking smile. “I love you Connor.”
“You too, Littler Curtis.”
