So with one last shuddering breath, I sucked up my feelings and strolled back to the study. I successfully dragged Alessio out to the pool. I laughed as we swam laps, sighed contentedly as we cuddled on a sun lounger, and held his hand all the way back to London. I made no more vows of love and kept my words of affection to a minimum.
To the outside world, we appeared like any other typical, wealthy couple in love. We put up a good front, united in our physical affection and mutual respect, with only a select few knowing the truth about our marriage.
But I was holding on to my own secret. A truth I'd buried so deep inside me that only in my quiet hour did I ever acknowledge it.
I'd never figured out how to stop loving my husband.
Chapter 5
Millie
It was rare for Alessio to be home by six o’clock. I could count on one hand the number of times we had dinner together at a reasonable hour. He would usually have a late-afternoon meeting or a site visit that he couldn't put off. If he was any later than eight, he sometimes texted me, and I'd instruct our housekeeper to place his plate aside, just in case he was still hungry.
So I didn't know what to make of this new habit. For two weeks, he'd been coming home before six p.m., and it had thrown off my whole schedule. I'd even asked him yesterday why he was home so often, and he'd looked so affronted at the simple question. I only wanted to know in case there was a problem at work he needed support with.
On the days he was in London, I had everything at our home handled to the letter. I mostly co-ordinated with his secretary, as there was no point in texting him since my messages either wentunanswered or he'd only remember to reply when he was on his way home. He was a busy man—very much in demand.
But soon I was about to be the busy one.
My eyes shifted to the red Birkin bag Alessio gifted me for my twenty-first birthday. Excited nerves swarmed me at what lay inside. I just needed to find the right time.
A throat noisily cleared, piercing the quiet of the dining room. In the corner of my eye, Alessio picked up his water glass and took a long swallow before placing it back onto the table with a hard thud. I returned my focus to my plate, forking at a piece of steak that was cooked to perfection, but I could barely taste it.
"How was your day?" my husband asked. He'd been making mundane small talk like that since we were seated.
I shrugged and took a sip of water. "It was fine. I met up with my mum for lunch at Soul and ran some errands."
He nodded, his mouth opening to say more before he closed it and snatched up his wine glass. I knew Alessio pretty well by this point, and by the look on his face, something was bothering him to the point of frustration.
Could he feel it too? This distance between us. Our usually well-oiled rhythm had been thrown off balance, and I didn't know how to get myself out of this funk. Our marriage had shifted. Oh, I knew why, of course, but I wasn't ready to confront it yet. I'd already suppressed it. Stiff upper lip and all that.
My news would not restore our equilibrium, but there was nothing I could do about that now; nor did I want to.
I cleared my throat loudly and sat up straight, drawing my husband's gaze. No time like the present…
"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about," I slowly started. He placed his fork down, granting me his full attention with a furrowed brow.
I grabbed my bag from beside me and swiftly produced an envelope. I handed it to Alessio, who stared at it for a momentbefore reluctantly accepting the letter. Was it just me, or did his hand tremble a little?
He scanned the words while my heart thundered. Slowly, his shoulders came down in a long exhale, but his frown deepened.
"What is this?" he finally asked, his eyes still reading the letter. "Veterinary Medicine," he quoted before glancing up at me in surprise.
"I've already accepted," I stated, although that should've already been clear. There was a slight quiver of nerves in my voice, yet my eyes remained on him with steely challenge. "I applied a year ago."
He looked over the letter again. "Classes start in three months."
"Yes, and I've accepted," I reiterated.
The silence stretched. I waited for him to say something—anything—but he appeared truly lost for words. I wasn't surprised; he had no idea that this was what I wanted to do.
"This is a hard school to get into."
I bristled, and my chin raised. "I have three A levels in Biology, Chemistry, and Physics. I have strong grades in my GCSEs and have more than completed the relevant work experience hours."
"Work experience?" he echoed. I wasn't used to him being so gobsmacked, but I could appreciate that this whole situation had come entirely out of the blue.
"Tom's uncle is a vet. I volunteered in his clinic nearly every day." Tom had become a good friend, and he regularly updated me on what was happening in Keating. Alessio, much to my frustration, kept making excuses that hindered our visit. I would just have to go on my own sometime.
