His hands were deep in his pockets, shoulders hunched. "I know you probably don't want to talk to me again, but seeing how pissed Brian was reminded me how much of a douche I was to you. I treated you like –"
"A piece of ass."
His mouth dropped open, and I shrugged a shoulder at his stupefied expression. "It's fine. That's what I was to you. But that's also how I let you treat me.”
His expression softened. "You know, when I apologized to you, I did mean it. But it was Sofia who encouraged me to do it." At my raised brow, he threw his hands up in a defensive gesture. "I meant every word of my apology. I knew you were owed one. But I never really considered deeply what I put you through. I amsorry. Really fucking sorry. Falling in love –" he stopped, flicking me an uneasy look.
"It's okay, Simon, I don't have feelings for you anymore," I drolly replied.
"Well, meeting Sof put a lot of things into perspective. If we ever have a little girl, how would I feel if she met someone who treated her like I did you? I'd be done for murder."
I could feel my face heat at his words, but the same warmth settled in my chest, spreading wide. It was a night full of surprises. "I appreciate the apology. And congratulations on your engagement," I tacked on, surprising myself at how sincere my words were.
He waved my acknowledgement away but remained quiet. The previous awkwardness started to seep back in, so I knew it was time to wrap it up.
Simon grabbed his trash bag and waved it at me. "Better get this out before Sofia sends a search party."
"Bye, Simon."
"See ya round, Maria."
I let the door close behind me before leaning back against it.
Simon apologizing a second time was not on my bingo card. I remembered his first apology but was too agonized by my shambled personal life to take it in. I appreciated this new apology. It felt much more sincere, but more importantly, I felt strong enough and in the right frame of mind to accept it. He and I would never be friends, but I was content to let that part of my life go.
But one thing that seemed to have a chokehold on me? Brian.
That was twice in two days his name had been mentioned to me. Dr. Anna brought him up yesterday. Maybe she could sense that he was still an annoying sore spot with me because I avoided thinking or talking about him. A lot of men had let me down; onewhom I had even thought myself in love with. But I’d never felt such raw disappointment as I had with Brian.
I was frank with Dr. Anna, worried that my feelings for him were part of my attachment style; that it was a cycle I couldn't break especially with how briefly Brian had been in my life.
"Maria, there is nothing wrong with how you feel about Brian. He obviously left an impression on you. The important thing to remember is that you used your voice to set your boundaries with him," Dr. Anna had assured me.
"We know that you need reassurance from your future partner. That's not a negative thing. Think of it as a checklist people have for their potential partners. In order to feel secure, you have non-negotiables. You need to know that whoever you let into your life in a romantic capacity makes you feel secure that they’re all in, and are open and communicative with you. There is nothing wrong with setting clear boundaries in what you want as a partner.”
From all accounts, if Simon's retelling was to be believed, it certainly seemed like Brian was acting like a partner. I didn't know what his game was. But I intended to find out.
Chapter 29
Brian
"Listen, we had this lined up for two weeks. My boys have been there since 7 AM, standing around like spare parts waiting for you. I have to pay the council to extend traffic flow because you weren't there when you were supposed to be."
I rubbed the spot between my eyes as I listened to the bumbling foreman apologize and offer excuses I wasn't interested in hearing. All I wanted was for people to do what the fuck they said they would at the time they promised. Was that so hard to ask?
"Just make sure they're there tomorrow—ontime," I emphasized before hanging up.
I scrubbed a hand down my face before picking up my phone again to make a few calls. When you worked a job, everything had to run like clockwork. My boys had laid down the shuttering early this morning; the concreters were supposed to arrive soonafter to lay down the cement before we continued our job. But they didn't show. Now, I had to make calls to delay our other suppliers by a day.
After a few more hours fielding calls and talking down one of my men when he called to complain about a roofer he was dealing with, I finally packed my shit and got the hell out of there before someone else called with more fires to put out.
I had an invite to come out for a few drinks, and it was definitely needed after the shit show I had to deal with, but the thought of loud chatter and the noise of a bar didn't sound appealing. Crashing on my sofa with a few cold ones by myself sounded better.
After promising to make it to the next one, I drove straight home. The adrenaline of dealing with incompetent people started to drain away, and I stifled a few yawns in the car. It was a good thing I canceled those drinks. I was dead on my feet.
After a hot shower where I washed today's grime away, I moved lazily around my room in a towel. I was tempted to climb into bed and call it a night, but I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and my stomach protested.
When I went to grab a fresh shirt and sweatpants from my drawer, I paused briefly at the sparse space next to my t-shirts. It was a sight I was still trying to get used to.
