"And I'm the only one?"
She snorted. "Well, no. But you are the only single one." She frowned at my lukewarm response. "Hey, I've met Mila loads of times. She's a little high-maintenance but a very sweet girl. Has those Southern manners that make you wanna drink some sweet tea."
I rubbed the back of my neck, trying to work out how to get out of this one. Mila should've provoked some sort of excitable response in me, but all my fervent emotions were unapologetically reserved for someone else.
"What?" Sofia pressed at my silence.
She seemed to think it was a give-in that I would jump at the chance to bed a beautiful woman. She didn't even ask if I was interested. Given my patterned behavior, I didn't blame her assumption; but I wanted that persona gone. It wasn't what I wanted to convey to people anymore, even though I now knew there was nothing atrocious or wrong with how I chose to express my emotions at the time.
I downed another gulp of my rapidly deflating beer. It matched my spirit. "Mila Mills is gorgeous, but I'm kinda interested in someone else." The words came out in one quick rush, and I willed the heat on my face to die down.
"Oh! I didn't know you were seeing someone."
Fuck.
"Well. I'm…not." At her confused look, I pushed on. "It's complicated, but just know that I'm not available to date. I'm hoping things start up wi-with this other girl."
Sofia's lips parted in shock. She knew what this meant.
I shifted my focus away. My face felt like ants were crawling all over it. Her hand grasped my arm briefly, squeezing it. "Brian," she softly said. "This is big. I'm happy for you."
I puffed out an awkward laugh as I hid my face behind a drink of beer. "Well, don't back my horse just yet. I have to convince her."
Sofia put her drink on a nearby table and placed her hands on her hips. "Who is she? You're a great guy. She'd be lucky to have you!"
She only came up to my collarbone, so seeing Sofia all huffy amused me. I didn't dare tell her that, though. I valued my balls.
"Trust me, she's not the one in the wrong here. I was a jerk, and she had every right to turn me out on my ass."
Her mouth opened into another little O. "Oh. Well, in that case, I wish you luck; and if you need any references, I'm your girl."
I internally grimaced. Having a girl you used to sleep with vouch for you didn't seem like a good idea.
"How are the wedding plans coming along?" I was eager to change the subject from my personal woes. "Turning into a Bridezilla yet?"
She tipped her brow at me in a droll expression. "You really think I'm the Bridezilla in this scenario?"
I laughed. "Simon."
"I caught him googling how long ice sculptures stay frozen during a wedding reception."
I made a face. "An ice sculpture?"
She nodded. "Of two swans with their necks entwined."
"Yikes," I winced. I spotted a familiar head making a beeline for us. "Speaking of the blushing bride," I smirked, nodding towards a grinning Simon.
I chuckled as Sofia groaned into her glass. Though, thirty seconds later, she certainly wasn't acting annoyed as her arms twined comfortably around her fiance's neck and proceeded to lay a kiss on him hot enough to melt an ice sculpture in two seconds.
I started to feel like a spare part when Simon began whispering God knows what into Sofia's ear while she giggled like a smitten schoolgirl. Something told me that Simon would haveno problem convincing Sofia into having a four-foot-tall ice sculpture.
Using their distracted PDA, I snuck away from the lovers—not that they noticed. Seeing them so in love just kept reminding me of my own disastrous, empty love life.
I didn't know what to do about Maria yet—if there was anything I could do. She asked me to leave her alone, and after a few false starts, I finally pulled my head out and respected her wishes. Her last advice about seeking help and how she needed to focus on herself and her own issues had struck a chord with me. Was it selfish that my ultimate goal was to re-enter her life once I had my head straightened out?
I wanted Maria with a ferocity that I no longer questioned. She was a game changer. Sure, I’d been too stupid to realize it when I had her; but I knew now. How could I let her know that I was all in this time and that I wouldn't dream of hurting her again? You know, withoutactuallybreaking contact and telling her? I scoured every avenue, raking through our conversations in my head, hoping to find a clue.
I knew she was dealing with past trauma. When the topic of family was brought up, she’d been evasive and sketchy.
